don't fight it corbiscide it

The Ride of the Spaghetti Yeti Pt 1

2008-11-11T16:47:00.005+11:00

The four children arrive at the Farm.
"Here we are guys at the Farm its gonna be so cool." says boy2
"Farms aren't any fun everywhere you step theres poo." whines girl1
"Yeah! Ain't that cool." boy2.

Number 2's Number2's
Farms are full of number 2's
You don't know whose is whose
Cause Farms are full of number 2's

Oh Number number number 2
There's no shame no none for you
cause we've all done it you know its true
We've all been doing number 2's

"Aw thats gross."says the girls
"Bonjour!" welcomes French farmer. "Welcome to Euro Farms."
"Euro Farms?" questions girl1
"I've heard of Sheep Farms and Cow Farms, but whats a Euro?" asks boy 2
"About a dollar ninety Australian." says boy1

"Oh you mean the countries in Europe like France.?"
"Oui!" confirms French farmer.
"Hang on he said wee."
"Non I said Oui which means yes in French." "But enough of this. We have animals from all over Europe. Ducks from France."
"Le quack, Le quack." - Ducks.
"Awww! They're saying Quack in French." gushes Boy2
"Bulls from Spain." says French farmer.
"Ole Moo! Ole!" - Bull
"Sheep from Germany." introduces French farmer.
"BeeeeeeeeMW, Mercedes Beeeeeeeeenz, Autobaaaaaaaahhhhn." bleet the sheep.

"French farmer, French farmer!" shouts an Italian accent.
"Oui. What is ze problem Italian farmer?" asks the French farmer.
"The Spaghetti Yeti, he is a-coming."screams Italian farmer. "Run, run for you lives."

"Raaaaaaaaaar!" wails the Yeti. It comes through trashing the place. Everyone screams. It finishes very quickly. Suddenly its all quiet.
"Children its all ok the Spaghetti Yeti has gone. You can all come out now." calls French farmer.

"I'm here." Boy 1
"Me too." Girl 1
"Me Three." Boy 3
They look around waiting for Girl2 to reply but there's nothing.

"Where the other girl?" asks French farmer.

"The Spaghetti Yeti took the little girl!" screams Italian farmer.

Long Time Coming. Hard Road Ahead

2008-11-06T10:05:00.002+11:00

Yesterday I spent the afternoon crying. Not because I was sad but because I was happy.

Let me explain:
I wasn't happy because the guy I wanted to win won. I couldn't vote I'm in Australia. Even though I wanted Barak to win, like a lot of American's I just couldn't believe it could happen. But it did and there were a lot of other people, people who hoped it could happen, people who wanted it to happen. Yet these people were wary and guarded themselves ready for just another disappointment. They had seen time and time again their dreams and hopes ruined by setbacks and compromise. They had seen hatred and fear win over justice and hope.
Now finally it has happened.
The words in my mind were "Free at last, free at last." Now thats probably stepping way too far ahead because we don't know what comes next. Even if "Free at last" isn't where the African American is (because lets face it their lot in America is still a heavy one) but they now can dream because the dream has been proven to be true. The first part of Dr. Martin Luther-King's famous speach has happened. A man has been judged by the whole country not by his skin colour but by his ideals and ideas. The dream has been given clothed in reality.

Now all these thoughts flodded through my head very quickly. Then came a small snippet of video from New York. CNN's coverage had a camera in Harlem, where I don't know. BUt loud and clear I could hear them repeat over and over again. "Yes we can. Yes we can." Just thinking about it makes me tear up. For them it wasn't a slogan for them it was truth. They knew what had happened, they new what this meant. The total Joy at the culmination of a hope, a dream that they had believed was now clothed in flesh in front of them. One of their own was climbing into the last bastion of white supremacy. Never before had this happened. That a coloured man could run for President was a shock to many. That he could win. Even I thought it was impossible.

So as I sat there in my little house here in Australia watching these people rejoice at something they hope for but could never see happening in their lifetime. I cried happy tears.

Thank God I was able to see it.

Overdue - Chapter 15 - The End

2006-12-30T00:34:00.000+11:00

I got out of the car. I was serene and clear there wasn't a thought in my head. I walked up to the door and rang the bell. I waited, damn I wanted the door not to open. I prayed that the door wouldn't open. I hadn't prayed for years. And then the door opened, it was Rat.
At first I didn't recognise her, she'd washed out her black and purple dye and gone back to her original strawberry blonde.
"Craig! What are you doing here?" she asked surprised.
I was about to tell her to run or something when I heard Ms. Lola behind me. Well, I heard her gun. The sound of a gun being cocked is very disctinct.
"Who's that. Ms Lola? Why does she have a gun pointed at us?" she looked at me firstly confused and then afraid.
"They want the book. You should go get it. And come back...please." I swallowed noisely. She didn't look like she was going to go and do it. Then she just quickly turned away into the house.
I've felt awkward on many occasions but nothing has ever been more awkward than waiting for Rat to come back to the door with the book. Well she did come back and with the book but it wasn't because she wanted too. Oswald was behind her. Oswald looked even bigger otuside the car, he completley dwarfed Rat. Oswald gestured towards the car and in his hand was the book, still with its painted cover Rat gave it.
Oswald and I sat in the back of the Volvo, with Ms Lola and Rat up front. The ride back to town was uneventfull, there was no conversation. Not even a quip from Ms. Lola. But then again I was numb. All I could do was stare at Rat. It had been years since I'd seen her without her hair dyed some colour or shade. She did return my stare every now and again, but that was it.
Then we got to our destination, Ms.Lola's block of flats. It was dusk and the sun was setting quickly. Ms.Lola and Oswald ushered Rat and I side by side into the main room and there sitting on the lounge was Mindy. At first I was relieved but then I wondered where Lachlan was.
"You know I really wanted it not to be you." said Rat.
"Pardon? Ummm wha.. what do you mean Rat?" I stammered.
"Ahh! Craig you never guessed it did you." chuckled Mindy. "If not for you Craig and this book, none of this would have happened.
"She got sloppy Craig. The book in that cover isn't a library book its one of Mindy's. Its got 'Property of Mindy Prior' on the first page." Rat didn't stop staring daggers at Mindy.
"So now both of you know, and soon both of you are going to die." Mindy forced a relieved smile on her face. She wasn't the criminal mastermind she thought she was.
"Is HE here then." enquired Ms.Lola as she broke the awkward silence.
"Not yet but HE said he would come. We have no need to do the job ourselves this time." replied Mindy.
"Who's HE?" spat Rat. "I'd like to know who's going to kill us."
I wasn't so surprised when at that moment HE made his entrance through the kitchen door.
"Thank you for comming Kil." Mindy glowed with apprecation. "It will be so much cleaner. This time!" She looked directly at Ms.Lola and Oswald. Oswald looked at his toes. Ms.Lola didn't seem to care.
I looked at Kil and he looked back at me. He smiled.
"Craig, Faith. This is going to hurt me more than you. I hate killing people I went to school with."
With that he raised his gun and then all hell broke loose.

BOOM!

Something bigger than a gun went off. The police call them flash bangs. It blinds those in a confined area and the noise is deafening. It took days for the ringing in my ears to stop.
Oswald stopped holding me and I found myself being pulled by Rat onto the floor and under the lounge. And under the lounge we stayed until we heard a voice.
"Craig... Rat... You can come out now." it was Coughlan.

I found out later Mindy changed the dust cover regularly from the orginal book to the books she used as the mule book. The exchange was simple. Someone would pick the drugs up from the book after paying Ms.Lola or Oswald. I screwed it all up when I went to delete the book from the catalouge. At first Mindy was hoping to get to the book after it was deleted. Then she was hoping to get it back from me but then Rat interviened. Which set into motion everything else. The mule books were not treated well by the users and replacements the right size and shape were hard to find so they started using any book. They got sloppy cause as Rat found out, written on the first page was 'Property of Mindy Prior'.

Lachlan took Mindy's deception real hard. He was offered postions in other towns but he's decided to stick it out here. He really is a nice guy I feel bad for him.

As for Kil. The whole 'endgame' as he called it was his idea, he even called the cops in. As for how he got away? I have my suspicions that the cops let him go cause he's an undecover cop, or something like that. Rat tells me that I'm just being silly thinking that way. But it was Kil who phoned Rat and told her to go and hide at the beach house. Personally I find it hard to beieve that he did this for us out of the kindness of his heart.

Brad/Mephisto is just Brad now and he and Kate are still together. Brad started working at his Dad's tyre franchise. Its a change that has surprised Brad more than anyone else.

Ok I can hear you saying. But what about you and Rat.

Well apart from her telling me I'm silly. When noone is around. She lets me call her Faith.

Chapter 14 - Overdue

2006-12-15T23:23:00.000+11:00

The 11O'clock rush that day was bad but it was nothing compared to what followed. Karl left first. I told him I'd lock up so he could get to see his son-in-law's Football match. I wanted to wait around for Lachlan to tell me that Rat was safe. I waited half an hour but noone came. So I went to lock up and as I went to leave I saw that the TV was on in the Audio Visual room. Now that often happens people treat the Library eqipment like trash, and sometimes kids try to watch all sorts of stuff their parents wouldn't allow. I quickly opened the door expecting to catch some kids watching porn.
"Ok this ends n...." I was stopped in my tracks by. "Kil!"
"Hi Craig. Now if you do as I say now you'll live and maybe long enough to see Rat again." His tone was cool and calm. His eye's gave a different tone completly, they were cold and mean.

Twenty minutes later I was out of the library walking home. I was sure this plan of Kil's was going to get me hurt one and maybe even dead. Sure enough things went perfectly to plan, by the time I was half way home the phone rang.
"Who's been a bad little boy." It was Ms.Lola. "Craig if you could stop right where you are and hop in the car with me."
"Which car?" I asked. Of course right on time the car pulled up to the curb.
Ms.Lola smiled at me. "Do I have to tell you to get in the car without making a scene? Or do I have to ask Oswald to step out and help you?"
Oswald looked huge in the car and the car was a volvo station wagon. He filled one whole side of the back bench seat. Needless to say I got in the car.
"So that was a poor attempt to send the police a message. Didn't you think we'd be watching you?" The question was entirely rhetorical. She wasn't looking for a response. Yes they'd been watching me but which attempt did they see. My useless flop with Coughlan or my last minute hail mary with Mindy and Lachlan. I didn't want to ask. According to Kil they'd seen me try and get a message out he didn't say which, he didn't even say if he'd seen both. So of course my mind started racing as the car drove out of town. If they saw the attempt to give the message to Coughlan then I was on my way to get killed and my body dumped in a shallow grave somewhere. Now if they saw the pass off to Mindy then either Mindy or Lachlan or both are dead and we are on our way too. It was as that thought was going through my mind when Ms.Lola asked me a question.
"Do you like the beach Craig?" She turned her head from the drivers seat and looked at me with that matronly face of hers. She didn't have to say it but she did anyway. "You've been keeping secrets from us. Naughty boy."
Of course I really went into guilt overdrive after that.
You idiot. You've not only killed Mindy, Lachalan and Rat but you've done it in the most rediculous and stupid manner. Well there was more guilty thoughts than that but they pretty much sum up what I thought till we stopped.

We were in the little beach town, outside Rat's uncles Beach house. Ms. Lola turned around and smiled at me again. "So this is where we find out if your right Craig. Time to play Judas."

Overdue - Chapter 13

2006-12-06T23:10:00.000+11:00

The next day was Saturday and I had to be at work until noon. The evening before I'd told Kate and Brad not to try and tell the cops where we thought Rat was. If Ms. Lola was watching me then she'd surely have someone watching them. There had to be another way of telling the Cops that we had a lead on where Rat and the book might be.
As I was helping a lady find a book on what she described as "whores at sea" (the book was Sian Reis) I saw Detective Coughlan enter the Library. Great! I thought now was the time, all I had to do was pass a note that Rat was at the beach house and it would all be over. I rushed to the front desk and hastily scribbled down the message.Then I grabbed the most recent book that had been returned, put the note inside it and strode over to where Coughlan was talking to Karl.
"Ah Craig just the man you've been looking for Detective." said Karl. "Don't be too long the 11O'clock rush will be starting any time soon." Karl went and relieved me at the front desk.
"Look there's two reasons why I'm here." Began Coughlan. "One is to appologise for my behaviour at the station two nights ago. I thought we'd make a signifigant breakthrough and then you tell me its not Rat. Which is a great relief to you and all I do is start yelling." She wasn't the type to apologise and it showed.
"Look I understand you were under a lot of presure." I replied. "I was just relived that it wasn't Rat. No harm done."
"And two," continued Coughlan. "You were right about the Jane Doe's name being Storm." She then showed me a picture of Ms.Lola. "Have you seen this woman before."
"No." I lied. I didn't want to go into the station again. I wanted to tell her all about it but the risk was way too great. If I went with her there and then Kate or Brad could get killed. I was afraid I'd get killed too. But I still had time to give her the book with the message in it.
"Look sorry about all of that I think you should take this book it has a great MESSAGE in it." I made sure I emphasised the word Message and handed her the book. She looked at me at first then at the book then at me again.
"Craig you've got to get out more, cause if this is what I think it is your a little too desperate." Then she handed the book back to me and as she walked off I thought I could hear her trying to hold in a laugh. I quickly looked at the books cover. "The Art of Sexual Ecstasy". Oh great! I thought to myself. Now she thinks I'm trying to get all hot and heavy with her. What kind of boyfriend must I look like if I'm trying to shag the Dective whose investigating the dissapearance of my girlfreind.
And I think it was there and then that I realised that I did want to be Rats Boyfriend. Another reason to survive all of this and another reason to find Rat. But I was being watched and I'd just blown a chance to tell Coughlan that Rat might be at the beach house. Then Mindy came in she said she'd left something behind and had come back to pick it up. Chance number two cause I could see that outside the Library was Lachlan. As Mindy was leaving the office I intercepted her.
"Min' can you give this note to Lachlan." I asked. She looked at me funny and smiled.
"Sure, this about Rat missing?" she asked back.
"Yeah its really important that Lachlan gets it." I replied and handed Mindy the note she took it and left. All I had to do was wait and Rat would be back and all of this would be over.

Overdue - Chapter 12

2006-11-18T00:18:00.000+11:00

"Ms.Lola!" questioned Kate. "The lady in the pink who lived in the flat across from the dead drugie."

"The same one. Delivering the pizzas and an ultimatum." I answered.

Kate and Brad were sitting in the lounge room eating the pizzas, while I told them about Ms. Lola's delivery.

"So if you don't find Rat for them they'll kill you and then start on us, probably." Brad summed up the situation very well. He even included him and Kate in it.

"But we don't know where Rat is. We've checked everywhere she could be." Kate was stumped we had thought of every place she could be.

"Yeah the cops have tried Mum place and Dad's place. I mean as If she'd go to Dad's she hates Kayla." added Brad.

Rat and Brad's parents split up back when we were in High School. Mr DeSouza re-married Kayla a fitness instructor. As trophy wives go she's not that bitchy at all, but Rat loathes her with a passion.

"No she'd never go there." I said.

"No she'd never go there." I repeated to myself.

"Its late your repeating yourself. Maybe we should just sleep on it." advised Kate playing big sister.

"Well she'd go there to see Dad but its not like she'd never go." offered Brad. "There is the beach house though. Now that she hates."

"Did we tell the police about it?" I asked. "Cause if we did they would have checked there."

"No." replied Kate.

"I didn't mention it. Like I said she'd never have gone there, its not even ours. Its owned by uncle Malcom, Mum's brother." after Brad finished we looked at each other.

"So what are we going to do now?" asked Kate silently.

I had a plan. It involved acting like we didn't know where Rat was. Then finding some way to contact the Police tomorrow and getting them to go and resucue Rat. We couldn't do it. Brad and Kate agreed and after a night of restless sleep I went to work the next day.

It was uneventfull till in walked Ms. Lola. I was on the front desk with Mindy.

"Honeydear." she said to Mindy. "Can you help me I need find a book on the psychology of lying?" As she said lying she turned her eyes to me.

Now Mindy and I had been working together for a long time and we had an arrangment. If one of us didn't want to deal with a customer you scratch your nose and the other takes over. Mindy was about to go to lunch with Lachlan so she naturally scratched her nose and turned to me. I scratched my nose too. Mindy glared at me. She'd told me she had arranged to lunch with Lachlan and dealing with such an abstract search like Ms.Lola's would take a while. So she scratched her nose again at me. I scratched right back.

"Excuse me children but is this some kind of sign language? Or is it hayfever season again?" asked Ms.Lola.

I was about to turn and run when.

"Mindy you coming to lunch." Lachlan was at the front door.

"I'm sure Craig here can give you all the assistance you require. I have to go to lunch."Mindy smiled and raced over to Lachlan. The two embraced and left.

"Ain't they a beautiful couple." Ms. Lola actually sounded genuine and then she turned nasty. "I need to give you this." She passed me a Mobile phone. "The number stored on it is mine. Call me when you find out where Rat is." With that she turned and walked out. I put the phone in my pocket and forgot about it, after work I decided I'd make a b-line for the cops. The phone rang.

"Craig honey." It was Ms.Lola. "You better not be going to the police. Oh and yes we are watching you." She hung up and I walked home.

Overdue - Chapter 11

2006-11-06T23:11:00.000+11:00

I got to the station and Kate and Mephisto were there. They were siting down and Kate was holding Mephisto. He was shaking and I could hear him sobbing. Kate looked up, her mascara was running. I was numb. I'd never seen them this way before.

Coughlan led me to the viewing room. It was a room next to the mortuary with a window which was covered by a curtian.
"You ready." Coughlan was rather grim. "Mephisto didn't do very well, not many people do. Just breathe clamly and tell me who you see."
And with that the curtains were whisked away. The body was naked except for the face which was covered. I turned to Coughlan.
"You don't want to know. But you've probably guessed. This is when Mephisto lost it." It was a challenge. Be a man its just a dead body. So I took up the challenge, I looked at the body.
"Are those nipples pierced?" I asked.
"Yes. Quite plain really, I've seen better." Coughlan smiled. If this was cop humor it was damn dark.
"Its not Rat." I said it plainly. Coughlan's smile dissapeared.
"You sure." she didn't believe me.
"Of course I'm sure. Over 48 hours ago I was in very close contact with Rat and I can tell you her breasts were not pierced." I was relieved.
"So who is this?" Coughlan was upset she now had a dead body who looked a lot like Rat with her face missing. She was back to square one.
"I don't know." I replied as if it was my fault. It wasn't but maybe I had a way ahead. "I think her name's Storm."

Coughlan was not that happy with trying to find a punk/goth artist named Storm. Personally I thought she was being a bit bitchy. She stormed off out of the veiwing room.
"Someone get me Proust." she screamed. "We gotta find some skank named Storm"

I went out to where Kate and Mephisto were. They'd heard Coughlan screaming. I smiled to them.
"Its not Rat?" asked Kate hopefully.
"Not unless she went and got her nipples pierced recently." I answered.
"Thats great Craig." said Kate and she lifted Mephisto's face up and smiled at him. "You fool its not Rat."
"Its not." Mephisto turned to me. He smiled for a bit and then turned away from me."I couldn't do it."

"Hey its ok Meph'." I reached out to console him but he brushed my hand away.

"I didn't want to see her dead. Some dark lord of death I turned out to be. I'm just Brad DeSouza." And with that he stood up. "I wanna go home."

So we did. We were hungry tired and spent. So we orderd pizza. The pizza was taking a while so Kate and ex-Mephisto Brad decided to have a shower. Of course not long after they got in the shower there was a knock at the door. I opened the door and was greeted by pizza. Happy that the food had turned up I took the boxes and handed over the money.
"Thanks but don't expect no change." I knew that voice. "You know God and I don't agree on much church boy. But we do agree on one thing." Ms. Lola was standing there in front of me at my front door. "I do believe the good book says 'Thou shalt not lie.' And I hate liars. Which means I hate you."

Overdue - Chapter 10

2006-10-27T22:34:00.000+10:00

I woke up to the phone. It was Lachlan.
"Hey sorry to wake you up." He appologised. I searched for the clock.
"Shit its 9:05. I gotta go to work Lachlan..."
"I'm already there. The detectives want to check the Library. We've closed it for the day. Come in at 11, ok." and with that he hung up. I went back to sleep.

It was 11:15 when I got to the library. It was busy, full of cops. Lachlan met me at the door.
"Look like you got enough sleep. Great." He was incredibly chirpy.
"How much sleep did you get?" I asked
"Didn't go to sleep. Night shift I get off at noon" he smiled.

I went to the office. By now Karl would know all about it and I'd either be chewed out or fired, hopefully I'd be fired. When I walked in Karl was at his desk going through a list with a woman who I deduced was the plain clothes detective.
"Craig!" Karl was smiling. "Look you should have told me first, but going to the Police as soon as you found the drugs was a good decision." I was gobsmacked. I couldn't believe it.

What had happened?

I joined the police searching the library for other 'Mule Books'. Mindy had printed out lists of the books not taken out for more than six months. This widened the search a lot and it gave me time to think. Someone had told Karl a fib and I knew who did it. I found him at the door about to leave.

"Lach why did you tell Karl I found the drugs yesterday?" I was as serious as I could be.
"It was Mindy's idea. She didn't want you to lose you job. I gotta go sleep." He waved goodbye. Was it possible he really was a nice guy.

"Mr Harper?" asked a voice from behind. It was the plain clothes detective.
"Craig will do, Detective?" I enquired.
"Coughlan." She replied. "We need to talk about Rat." She ushered me into the reference room. "I hear you gave Proust an earfull last night." She chuckled. It was nice to hear laughter.
"I was tired and I'd had enough of asking questions. I've been under a lot of pressure latley." It was easy to talk to Coughlan. The fact she was rather good looking didn't hurt either.
"We need to know where Rat is. The others think if she was going to call someone she'd call you." her tone was polite yet demanding.
"Is that all Proust wanted last night. Crap I feel like an idiot." I slapped myself in the forehead.
"Yes we thought it was better to ask you after you'd had a sleep. So do you know?" she smiled. I realised she was playing with me, but it didn't matter the answer was the same. I told her I didn't know. I also told her to check Rats parents but Coughlan said she already did. I went back to the book search.

Each book was searched it didn't matter wether it was thin or thick, old or new. It was good to have some help but some of the cops didn't understand the dewey decimal system. I've always found it hard to believe that some people cannot put a book in its right place. So most of the day I was shelf reading and making sure the books were put back in the right order. At the end of a very tiring search the books were all in perfect order. It was a librarians dream.
"Now do we let anyone in tomorrow?" I asked to noone.
"It does look better than ever." added Mindy. "We should have a drugs search every month."
We both laughed.
"Look Mindy. Thanks for getting Lachlan to tell the fib." I smiled.
"It was nothing."she smiled. "You did the right thing, in the end."

As I walked home I thought about a few things. Where Rat went too, Lachlan being a nice guy, and what did Mindy know. "You did the right thing, in the end." Could she.. Nah! Lachlan told her thats how she knew. But where was Rat? And who rang her before she left?

It was those thoughts that kept spining around in my head. I wasn't really thinking about where I was going and I ended up at Mephisto's place. He wasn't home. I went into Rats room and sat down on the paint cans again. Where was she. The cops wanted to know, they asked about Ms. Lola too. I wished I could find out why they were intrested in her. Then again why was I intrested in Rat. Cause she was a freind, cause I couldn't find her, cause I thought she was in danger. It was probably all of the above and maybe one more, but I couldn't think about that. Anyway who did I think I was, I wasn't a cop, or a detective. Kil said it I was a librarian.

So I went home. Kate wasn't home. The place was empty, which was really strange cause Kate didn't leave the house till after dinner. As I was trying to piece it all together the phone rang.
"Mr Harper." It was Coughlan. "We need you down at the station, we think we've found Rat."

Overdue - Chapter 9

2006-10-15T21:47:00.000+10:00

I got to the Police station and found to my dismay that the officer on duty was Mindy's Lachlan. Sargent Mitchel as I found out was quite intrested in my story. He took the containers, especially the not so full one. My story was recorded and he told me I'd have to stay at the station.

"You can't leave until the night detective has decided that your free to go." Lachlan explained. "Sorry." He sounded like he meant it but I really didn't want to believe that he was a nice guy. I was allowed to phone a friend and tried to get both Kate and Mephisto, they were elsewhere or with each other. After two hours the Night Detective, Proust arrived.

He'd been dragged in to work late at night and obviously wanted to get back to doing what he was dragged away from.

"Interview with Craig Harper commenceing at 10:45pm. Present are Detective Proust and Sargent Mitchel. So you found the drugs in the library?" began Proust.

"Yes." I answered. "In a book that had its pages cut out so it could hold the containers."

"And when you found the book and the drugs you put them in your bag, then you forgot about them. The drugs were found by friends of yours who consumed them all except for the few that were saved by.... Mephisto?" Proust looked at me as if this was a joke.
"His real name is Brad DeSouza." I said "He calls himself Mephisto, its his art name."

"He really calls himself Mephisto." winced Proust."Ok then you and.." Proust paused again.

"Rat went and found the guy who was looking for the drugs after you found and forgot them. Right?"

"Right. Rat and I went in her car." I began but Proust interupted.

"Her car!" exclaimed Proust "Rat is female? Tell thats just her art name."

"No her real name is Rattus. She had it changed legally from Faith." I replied. Proust's jaw dropped when I said that. But I decided I should continue retelling my story. "So we went to the cafe he works, umm worked at. They gave us is address and we saw his flat. While we were there the lady who lives in the flat opposite Ms.Lola told us about what happened to Cameron."

"Ms.Lola hey." Prousts eyebrows flicked when he said Lola. "What did she tell you?"

I told Proust about what Ms.Lola said and that she asked who we were and why we were looking for Cameron.

"What did you tell her?" asked Proust even more intrested.

"I lied and told her I was looking for Cameron for his parents, that I went to the same church as them. Which was true but they hadn't asked me to look for him. I also called Rat Storm. She accepted that and let us go. Is she involved?" I asked.

"Nothing I can tell you now Mr. Harper. But if you could wait here I'll get back to you. Interview terminated at 11:14pm" And with that Proust and Lachlan left.

They didn't come back until 3am. They asked me if I knew where Rat was. I told them I didn't know.
"The others think you know where she is. Her brother doesn't know much of anything."
complained Proust.

"Mephisto's here?" I asked.

"You sure you don't know were she is. Everyone thinks the two of you are an item. Most girls call their boyfriends, don't they." Proust was angling for some more information. I really didn't want to talk about THAT moment with Rat, again.

"We haven't been an item for years. Then after dealing with Ms.Lola we get back to my place and she jumps me. Well you've talked to everyone so you should know all of this." I left 'that' moment out. "I really don't want to talk about it. After that Rat left in her car. Mephisto said someone called her the next morning. It wasn't me." I folded my arms and attempted to stare manly.

"You sleep with a girl and you don't call her the next day?" Proust was adamant he'd gone all nasty cop on me. "Or do you have a "open relationship" with Rat." Proust even did the qoute hand signal for open realtionship. I hate that. I was tired, I was trying to do the right thing. I held myself. For two seconds.

"Ok nothing happend between us.' I snaped. "Do you really need to know that because of all the stress I was under I couldn't perfom the task required. Do you get that or do I have to choose a suitable double entendre for you to understand what I just said."

"You finished." asked Proust. He had that you can't shock me I'm a cop look. Damn that look, it worked way too well.

"Yes I have. Can I go now? I have to work in a few hours." I asked. I'd worn myself out and now I wanted to go home.

"You'll be home in an hour." replied Proust. And he was right.

Overdue - Chapter 8

2006-10-04T16:07:00.000+10:00

I rang Mephisto.
"What are you ringing for?" He sounded confused.
"Pardon?" I asked.
"I thought you called earlier. Rat got a call this morning packed her good stuff. And took the car." explained Mephisto.
"It wasn't me." I explained. "I got taken for a ride by Kil."
"Wow he didn't kill you." He sounded impressed. "What happned?"
I told him.
"Well I reckon I'd forget a fair bit if I had Kil drive me out of town. But I don't know where Rat is." Mephisto paused. "So are you going to tell the cops?"
"Yeah." It hurt saying that. "But I'm gonna need the evidence."
"Gee I don't think anythings left, but you can come over and try." Mephisto didn't sound too confident about finding anything. But I had to find something, anything.

I got over there and just as Mephisto said the old customer care car Rat drove was gone and her room was a mess. Well that wasn't that much different. I had to find the book she was using it in a piece it wasn't in her room. It was weird being in there without her, I wondered who called her. I had a hunch it was Kil but why? I came prepared I brought gloves. I knew the only room that got cleaned regularly was Rat's.

I risked a fair few diseases doing this, what with the occasional syringe and more used condoms than I ever want to see again. After I got through the lounge, the kitchen and the two studio spaces my result was one empty film container. I went to start on the bedrooms and the one bathroom and Mephisto wasn't happy about that.
"Hey the bedrooms of limits. People have their private gear in there." He was quite adamant, which for Mephisto was more than surprising. But I wasn't in the mood for arguing, my life was on the line.
"Meph, if I don't have enough evidence I wont get the cops believing me. And if I don't get their protection I'm dead. And if the guys dealing the drugs think I'm enough of a threat they'll definately be comming to find out what you know. So its not just my arse on the line its yours and everyone who took those pills. So don't go saying this privacy shit, becuase theres more on the line for me than knowing whose doing what." I didn't yell but Mephisto looked downcast and thought for a while.
"Wait here" he said and he walked off to the bedrooms upstairs. He came back and sheepishly handed me the other film container. I shook it and it rattled.
"I know. I let you clean the place and I had some left over. But its really good shit." He winced waiting for my wrath. I just shook my head.
"I'm telling Rat what you did today." My reply was worse than yelling or even hiting him. There's nothing worse than a sisters wrath, well maybe a mothers guilt trip. So I left Mephisto to stew while I went to find the piece that Rat made the with the book.

When I got home Kate was having her morning coffee, at 6pm.
"Oh my where have you been?" she asked. "You look like you've been thorough hell and back."
I certainly felt that way but I knew if I didn't get to the cops with all of this I'd be finding out if Hell was all I was told it would be. I asked Kate about the piece Rat made with the book.
"Gee I don't remember her actually finishing it. If its not in the studio or her room I reckon she took it with her. She doesn't like leaving her pieces till she's finished."
I left Kate to her coffee, and went to clean myself up. Then I went to the police station.

Overdue - Chapter 7

2006-09-17T00:15:00.000+10:00

Outside of town Kil took a right turn down a dirt road. He was silent and I was scared. He took another right and turned into an old farm. He stopped the car outside the main house.

"This is our stop Craig." Again he was so calm and polite, like he was dropping me of home, like he was a friend. "We're getting out now." That was a command, it had a sharp edge to it. The kind of edge that was used to having a weapon behind it.

I got out. Kil leant on the hood of the car, he looked at me waiting. No not waiting,
knowing that I would crack. Then I realised something.

"You'd never send thugs to kill someone, would you?" It was a question in hope. A hope that could mean that I wasn't in as bad a place that I thought I was.

"No I wouldn't." Answered Kil. The relief it brought was undescribable. But my relief was wiped by what followed from Kil's mouth. "Now answer my question."

I told him how I found the drugs. I told him about using the security cameras to get a photo of Cameron, and hunting him down with Rat. I was so wrapped up in the telling of the story that I even told him about my non-event with Rat.

"Craig, that was way too much information." Kil chuckled. He then got serious. "And now you need to go to the cops and tell them everything you told me."

"Wha.. really. Why?" I was a bit perplexed.

"Cause you are in trouble and thats what people like you should do." He said it like an older brother does, when they know your too young to be playing with them. I thought about protesting. Kil saw it run across my face.

"Your in more trouble than you think. I can't tell you what you've fallen into. Mainly because if I do they'll have me kill you. If you go to the cops now it will be harder for them to touch you." He was making perfect sense, it was clear that he was right. Then he went and ruined it."And your not worth the trouble to them. Your just a librarian."

Just a librarian. It was all I ever wanted to be. Yet at that moment it seemed worse than any other profession in the world. I never truely understood the term emasculated till then. And inside me something wild flashed. For a breif moment I thought... No it wasn't a thought it was a feeling. It died as quickly as it flared.

"Craig, don't do anything you'll regret." Kil was looking at me. He was still emotionless. He was everything I wasn't.

"If thats all you've got to say take me back to work. I'll go to the cops." I got into the car. Kil got back in a started up the car, he turned to me. He was about to say something but I cut him off.

"Don't tell me I've made the right decision. I know I have. Just don't say anything, please." It was a warning. I thought I was at the end of myself but as found out I had a lot more to go.

Kil dropped me off at work, it was just on 1pm. Karl was so angry at me. I let him yell at me.
"I don't expect this kind of treatment from you Craig. What is happening to you." After that he decided to tell me who he thought was the reason why all this had happened. "Its that punky brewsters fault. Your all down from missing out on Mindy and now you've got involved with that minx."

"Rat." I could take Karl chewing me out but accusing Rat when he didn't know anything."Your blaming Rat for all of this." I felt a little bit of that feeling. It was rage. "All she's been is a friend to me in all of this. I've never done anything like this before and you haul me in here like some school kid." I raised my voice louder. "This is crap. I'm going out there and I don't want to hear anymore about this Karl. You hear me."

Karl didn't respond. I turned and went to the Philosphy/Religion shelves and began the loudest shelf tidy ever. It was around the health and fitness books that I came across the books about sexual disfunction. Something nagged at me. Something I had forgotten.

"Oh CRAP!" I'd forgotten Rat.

Overdue - Chapter 6

2006-09-10T23:04:00.000+10:00

"Dude. How long have you been standing there." It was Mephisto. I don't know when he came into the lounge, but it was 4am when I looked at the clock. He'd obviously been with Kate.

"I don't know. How long have you been watching me standing here?" I asked back.

"For at least a minute or so. You scared the shit out of me, what happened?" he seemed genuine. So I told him about the Coffee Shop, Cameron and Ms Lola.

"Well that explains some of it, but why did Rat leave you here like this?" I didn't want to tell him, but what the hell why not some more humiliation.

So I told him.

"Ouch! Does Rat know that you didn't ummm." Mephisto paused to find the perfect descriptive term."Rise to the occasion."

"Does that matter?" I was honestly nieve about this.

"Craig this is really important. Think of it from her point of view. She wanted to.... help and you didn't respond at all. Either she thinks you don't find her sexy, or you think she's a slut." Mephisto was serious and that surprised me. But I was tired and I still had to go to work. Today.

"I'll tell her ok. But I gotta go to sleep, NOW!." I tried to end the interigation there. But Mephisto was adamant that I tell Rat it wasn't her fault. I didn't know wether he was trying to help me or his sister. I agreed to tell her as soon as I woke up. Mephisto accepted that and let me go to bed. I fell on the bed and into a restless sleep.

I awoke to the telephone ringing. I ignored it and let the machine take it.

"Craig, its 10:30 where are you?" Karls voice pierced my dozing mind and I woke up. "I've gotten Mrs. Hester in. Your lucky she's always able to fill in for you." The way Karl said that sounded like this happened regularly. "Are you comming in for the afternoon shift?". He hung up.

I got up. I went looking for coffee. When I had woken up sufficently I rang Karl.

"Hi sorry, I had a difficult time last night." I went to continue but Karl cut me off.

"Is this an excuse Craig. I don't accept excuses." He was concerned. With Karl that meant he tried to find what happened to you. And then make sure you never do it again.

"Its not an excuse, look I'll tell you what happened when I get in. Ok." Karl accepted that and I hung up. I'd gotten some time to work out how to explian this not only to Karl but to myself. I still didn't understand what had happened.

On the walk to the library I tried to piece the night together. Rat sitting me down to talk about my life, then Cameron the druggie being killed by thugs, lying to Ms Lola and then the failure to launch. Despite all of this, all I could think of was the fact that Cameron had been killed by thugs.

"Craig, earth to Craig." I stopped and looked to where the voice was calling from. It was Kil. He was in his shiny nice black car.

"Hop in I'll give you a ride to the Libarary." he asked politley. As if there was nothing going on between us. I thought about running. I thought about dying. I got in the car. To this day I don't know why I got in Kils car but I'm happy I did. It was a nice car, a very nice car. But thats not why I'm happy about getting in the car.

"Why were you and Rat at Cameron Shalky's flat last night?" That line hit me, hard. I thought about opening the door and jumping out but the car but I remembered I wasn't an action hero. Kil passed the turn off to the library and took the road out of town.

Overdue Chapter 5

2006-09-06T16:45:00.000+10:00

Rat took me in her car. It was the old courtesty car for Rats dads tyre franchise. It worked, just.

Java Hutt at night was a busy place. It catered to all lifestyles, poor, rich, straight, queer, clean and stoned out of your gourd. The guy we were trying to find did work there, but he wasn't working that night. In fact he hadn't been there for a week. This we were told was normal for Cameron. They gave us his address and I wanted to go straight away but Rat wanted an espresso and a slice of orange cake. She even got us a table and sat me down. She ordered me a long black and a couple of doughnuts. We sat in silence waiting for the coffee and cakes. When her espresso came she started talking.

"Your weird Craig. And you want to know why?" Well she didn't wait for a response and gave me her answer straight away.
"Because you love your job but are frustrated with every other aspect of your life." She looked at me like she was revealing the secret of eternal life. I didn't know if I was supposed to be astounded or shocked.

"Why is that weird Rat?" I asked but I really didn't want to know why. I just wanted to go find this Cameron guy.

"Most people hate their job it frustrates them, pisses them off. And what that does is give them the need to make life

outside the job better. You don't have that, so your life sucks and it frustrates you. You want better but your job is great and you pour yourself into that. And what does that get you. No life outside work."

This was third rate psychobabble. Why was she saying this now, here. I wasn't sure why she said all that but it sounded as if she'd practised it. I just didn't know what to say so I said nothing. I silence we finished the coffee's and I bagged the rest of my doughnuts for later.

Cameron lived a few blocks down from Java Hutt. It was short and awkward walk. All I could think was why Rat said all of

that. She'd told me so many times my life sucked it shouldn't have meant much. But I couldn't get over the fact that it sounded prepared. Was this a punishment for snapping at her in the library earlier. Before I could get my head around all

that we were at the block of flats. Cameron was in number 6 which was on the third floor. The flats were a small rectangluar block divided in the middle by a centre staircase. The first signs were good, the staircase didn't smell of urine, it was well lit. And then we came to the third floor.

"This is bad isn't it?" I didn't want the answer to be yes.

"Yeah Craig its bad." replied Rat. The doorway, I say doorway because the door wasn't there at all. Well the hinges were there and in the place of a door was police tape. We stood there for a while. Then the door to flat number 5 opened. I jumped in front of Rat.

"Who are you?" I tried to be tough and mean but my voice was high and sqweeky.

"I'm Ms Lola. Answers Ms. Lola. "You after Cam?" Ms. Lola asked. She was possibly mid-fifties and wore a pink flanelette night gown with matching pink slippers. Rat pushed in front of me gave me a look that said ' If I needed protection I'd bring a gun, idiot'

"Yes we are, do you know where he is?" asked Rat politely.

"He's dead. Some guys came for him two days ago. They let themselves in and waited for him to get home. I thought they were friends, he always had friends coming over. I heard the screams and before I could phone the cops they were gone. He was dead."

"Why's the door broken down then?" I asked.

"Oh that was Lucas from number 4. He heard the comotion when those thugs ran out and locked the door behind them. Lucas is a plumber he got his crowbar and broke the door open. But it was too late Cameron was dead." Ms. Lola looked at me and Rat. "Your a strange couple." Ms. Lola pointed to Rat. "Now I'd believe you'd be here for Cameron's shit. But him, no your too straight for that. What are you here for?" It was an accusation not a question. I decided to lie my arse off.

"Camerons parents have been looking for him. He never told them where he lived. I'm part of their church group and they asked me to find him. Storm's an old friend from school I asked her to help me." I smiled all the way through it. Ms. Lola bought it completley. We walked out of the block of flats and back to Rats car.

"That was some quick thinking back there." She said to me when we hoped in the car. "Church group. I would never have thought of thet one."

"Thanks" I was breif but that was because all I could think of was thugs comming round to my place. Was I next.

We got home and it wasn't that late for Rat so she came in as well. I was still thinking about Cameron being dead. I didn't even know him, yet here I was shocked that he was dead. I sat on the lounge. Rat flopped down besdie me.

"Oh well the trail goes cold now doesn't it. He couldn't have told them anything. They haven't come here have they.... Craig." She smiled, waved her hand in front of my face. "Thats it. Its all over." She exhaled. "Craig you need to relax."

She got up and straddled my lap, facing me her knees on the lounge. She took my face in her hands gently and kissed me. Softly at first then with a bit more urgency. I stood up and she wrapped her legs around my waist. Then she stopped kissing me.

"Whats wrong." Rat asked."We've done this before." This was true after high school we got together. It was nice but it wasn't a realtionship. She smiled wickedly. "You can call me Faith." she whispered then started kissing my neck. This time it didn't work. She stopped kissing me and I let her down.

"I'll.... I'll go now ok." Rat tried to deal with the awkwardness but she couldn't. She left quickly. I just stood there. I heard her start the car. It stalled, she started it again and drove away. All I did was stand there.

Overdue - Chapter 4

2006-08-24T12:01:00.000+10:00

"You don't have to call me Kil Craig, call me Patrick." Kil smiled.

"What book were you looking for?" I asked. Of course I knew what book he was looking for the deleted one with drugs in it. The book I took home and gave all the ecstasy to Kate and all her artist friends.

"Green Papaya." said Kil.

What! That wasn't the book. It was a large print romance novel called "The passion of the heart."

I looked up the name, yep we had it. I went and showed Kil to the book. It was a coookery book by Kils favourite musicians mother. He took it out. And that was it, he left. I was so sure he'd come to challenge me on the drugs. I was sure the drugs were his. Who else would go to such lengths to evade the police.

Later Rat came in and I told her what happened while I was shelf tidying in the Philosophy section.

"I'd say he just came in to see if you'd crack just by him looking at you." She was so sure of herself.

"Oh and who died and made you the criminalologist." I snapped back. "All your doing is hanging around and waiting to see if I get killed."

"If thats how you think I'm outta here." and with that Rat was gone.

I should have apologised straight away but I had too much going on in my head. I was too busy thinking about myself. I needed to know why Kil didn't confront me. Was Rat right, could he be leaving me dangling? What about the guy who came in looking for the drugs in the book? If I could find him then.... But who was I kidding I'd never find him. Then, I looked up as you do when looking for help and I just happened to be looking in the right direction. Right down the barrel of one of the surveilance cameras.

I got home that evening with the surveilance footage. Now I know most stores and shops keep at the least 24 hours of video tape as a back up. At the Library we had the latest. It was all stored digitally, then when required burt to disc. I got everything. All I had to do was sit down and watch it. Fortunatley, all the discs were time coded so I could skip to the very moment that the guy came in and tore up the library looking for the book. I got a clear shot of his face captured it and printed it out on my computer. Now I had a picture, all I had to do was to find him. For that I was going to need some help. Which required some groveling.

"Rat c'mon. I already said I was sorry." Which had happened just before Rat slamed the front door in my face. But becasue the front door was a sliding garage door it bounced open and I follwed Rat to her room. Where she resumed her painting. I continued to explain my stupidity.

"Look I was under a huge amount of stress. I thought I was going to be lead out of the Library and dissapear..." I paused a bit for effect. "Forever!"

She didn't respond. She just kept painting, smooth even stokes. The she stopped turned her head and shot a quick look at me.

"PLEASE!" I whined. Hey I know I whined but I needed help badly, and when you need help you'll whine 'please' to anyone you think its going to work on.

"Uhhh! Ok but only because your a wuss and you need my help." relented Rat. "Now give me the picture I might know this guy."

I gave her the picture. She examined it closely. "I've seen him before. He works at Java-Hut. Makes a good espresso. And I need a coffee break." And with that she put her brush down, put on her jacket and walked out. I followed.

Overdue - Chapter 3

2006-08-21T10:50:00.000+10:00

Two days later and I was still alive.

"You know I'm amazed you're not dead yet." joked Rat. She had come into the Library and was as surprisd as I was that I hadn't dissapeared without a trace.
"Your not the only one." I added. "I keep looking behind myself, waiting and expecting to see Kil holding a gun or something."
"He wont be that crass." replied Rat. "Just shooting someone, thats way below Kil. C'mon you remember what happened to Julie Stretzky?"

How could I forget. I had a crush on Julie Stretzky, all through the first year of high school. She had the cutest freckles, she also was a huge flirt. Every guy had a crush on her at one time or another. But Julie wasn't intrested in a relationship with a nobody who wanted to be a Librarian. Julie was into the prime movers the guys who either had money or were going to make money. So eventually she became Kil's girl. Julie was a user but Kil wasn't the kind of guy you use and leave behind. But she did it anyway. After she'd had her fun with Him it was onto another guy. The problem Julie had was that Kil wasn't finished. So when he turned up at her 17th birthday party with all his gang, you knew this would be a birthday paty to remember. By the end of the night Julies father had been sent to hospital (multiple stab wounds but he lived), Julies current boy toy the football captain Vince Salamiatsis had his legs broken (he's in real estate these days) and Julies mother was found two weeks later in a motel with some guy named Axel. Julie and her Dad moved interstate. Her Mum runs a health food shop in town, with Axel.

Rat came by each day making sure that I was still alive. Kate told me that it had nothing to with any feelings she harboured towards me. It was just the fact that Rat like her brother Mephisto had a curious obsession with death. After the third consecutive day of the Rat, Karl took me aside to give me a talk.

"You like this punky brewster?" It wasn't an accusation, but it sure felt like one.
"She's a friend." I protested. "We went to school together. Were in nothing like what your suggesting."
"Its just that I thought that you and Mindy were a possibility. You look good together." Karl actually tried to sound encouraging.
"What is this matchmaker time? Karl if I wanted to ask Mindy out I'd do it." I lied. Of course I wanted to ask Mindy out. I liked Mindy. Some people thought that Mindy liked me. Mindy was quiet on the the subject. well she wouldn't talk to Kate about it. So instead of finding out and possibly being wrong I settled on leaving things as they were and living with the hope that one day she'd make the move. Karl thought differently.
"She is not going to wait around for you. Make the move you idiot. If you don't you'll never know." That was the most passionate I had ever seen Karl. And his passion gave me more than hope. It gave me wings of courage, and a resolve of steel. I was going to ask Mindy out. Right NOW!

"Your right Karl, its time." I replied.
"Good for you Craig. Go get her." Karl shook my hand and at that moment Mindy poked her head through the door.

"You boys finished arguing. There's someone I want you two to meet." she said. "This is Lachlan."

After Lachlan had shok my hand into numbness and whisked Mindy away for lunch in his red V8 sedan. Rat sidled up and decided to paint the picture a bit clearer.

"So thats Mindys guy." Rat whistled for effect. "Gee you've got a lot to beat there."

I wanted to say shut up. I wanted to screm out loud. I wanted..... While in thought someone had come up to the counter.

"Hey Craig I'm looking for a book. You know about it" I knew whos voice it was and I didn't want to look up.

"Craig you remember me." His voice was polite and calm. It always was.

I looked up and I was right. "Yes Kil I remember."

Now nothing mattered, I was as good as dead.

Overdue Chapter 2

2006-08-16T21:35:00.000+10:00

I got to my bag and it didn't have the book in it.

"Shit shit shit shit shit." I cursed repeatedly.

"Whats wrong Craig shouldn't you be out with Mindy." it was Karl. "And remember you've got to tone down the language here I thought we'd been through all this before?"

"Sorry Karl, but I've lost something I thought I left in my bag. But its gone." I replied leaving out the information that it was a book with concealed drugs in it. That I'd found in the Library and that I should have at least told Karl about it. Karl didn't ask anymore questions and I was glad he didn't.

The rest of the day went so, slowly. I couldn't stop thinking about the drugs and what, if anything could have happened to them. Who could have taken them, did they know that I got them from the Library. I was fully expecting to end up sacked from the Library. That or whoever had put the drugs their would found out I took them and then I'd be dead.

The thing was I knew who put the durgs there. Well not who put them there, but who was behind the guy who put the drugs in the book in the Library.

His name was Patrick Kilpatrick one of those people whose parents decided a funny name would be great for their kids self-esteem. Of course this backfired horribly when Oysters got to school. Oh yes, Oysters was his name from third grade on. At first he thought it was a great joke. Then he gradually got more and more frustrated with it. And when the teachers started using it well, that was the last straw. From then on he was the worst kid in the school.

Now with most bad eggs teachers and Prinicipals just wait till they screw up and kick them out. But Kil as he is known these days, wasn't dumb. Not at all. Kil was the best student in Maths and topped the Physics scores in the state for his final year.

The principal knew what was going on and that Kil was the ringleader for everything bad in the school. But like now, back then Kil was untouchable. None would snitch on him. If you tried to the repercussions would be amazing. Kil didn't just beat you up, no that was too easy. He made sure your life was hell at school, at home and that even your parents lives would be hell. He'd steal your stuff, trash your bike, kill your pets, send viruses to your e-mail, your parents e-mail. He was so thorough that one time he switched one kids grandmas medicine with ecstasy. Crossing Kil was not the done thing. And now I had stolen from Kil. Then someone stole from me. Its a deadly cycle, and with Kil it ends in death, mine!

I raced home. Drugs in my house was rare, unless you mean the anti-depressents that my fellow house mate Kate took constantly. Kate was an artisit, depression was a lifestyle for her. However, when Kate needed to work with reality she took her anti-depressants by the bucket load. And all I could think about was that to Kate a pill was something that just demanded comsumption. Kate on ecstasy. Well that might be something to see, however I needed to get them back. If Kate had taken them then they were possibly gone. And if her deadbeat artist friends had found them they were definatley gone. How was I going to fix this.

Well I got in the house and went straight to Kates room. She wasn't there. Damn! The book wasn't in her room either. Well it wasn't laid out on the bed or dropped on the floor. I didn't go through her stuff. I thought about it though. But the phone rang. I let the machine get it, it was Kate.

"Hey Craig I'm out with the guys. Rat found a book with some E. Well not just some E but a whole load of it. We're all at Mephistos, c'mon over its a party and your invited. You can even bring that up tight Mindy you've been to sacred to ask out."

I always hated the fact I told Kate that I liked Mindy. But it wasn't my main concern. I got myself over to Mephistos.

Mephisto was an artist and close friend of Kates. By artist I mean his last work was himself covered in mud, with a stuffed seagull on is head. Mephistos place was the garage at the back of his dads tyre franchise. Mephistos dad was loaded.

I got there and the place was a shambles. I found Kate eventually. She was in Mephistos bed. Friendship for Kate exteneded to the occasional quickie. Not that that ever occoured between us. She saw me as little brother. Which did make for awkward moments, like now.

"Kate, kate." I whispered.
"Oh Craigie." she gushed and sat bolt upright giving me full frontal exposure. It wasn't the first time. "This shits really good. I don't now where you got it, but give some to your little Mindy and you'll get some. I did." Kate lifted up the quilt and there was a very naked Mephisto, spooning up to Kate.

"And again you give me need to wash my eyes." I complained. "Kate what happened to the book the drugs came in."

"Oh I don't know Rat wanted it. I think she was going to use it in a new project she's working on." replied Kate who feel back onto the bed and went back to Mephisto.

I went to Rats room. Rat was Mephistos sister their real names were Brad and Faith. Rat changed her name legally to Rattus, I heard her mother cried when she found out about it. Rat was more of an artist than Mephisto meaning she actually produced art to sell. She was busily patining the book.

"Rat what are you doing." I screamed. I grabbed the book it was ruined.
"Hey hands off the artwork prole." Rat snapped the book back. I could have stopped her but it was too late. Rat put the book back on her table and then turned to me with a sly grin on her face.
"Well christian Craigs not so saintly after all." she continued. " Who'd have thought you'd be working for Kil."

"I don't work for Kil." I protested which got me in deeper water than I thought.

"Well you don't do drugs your too square for that." deduced Rat. "So if you don't work for him then you stole from him. But I know you don't have the balls for that too. So you found them. In the library. You found out how Kil gets his drugs to his customers. Your dead if this gets out."

"I know." I moaned and sat down on a 10 litre bucket of mission brown paint.

Overdue Chapter 1.

2006-08-09T20:24:00.000+10:00

My names Criag Harper, I never wanted excitment and danger in my life. In fact I went for the least stressful job in the world. Librarian. Well I'm not THE Librarian yet. I reckon that wont happen till Klaus retires, which should be when hell freezes over. Oh whos Klaus? Well he's my boss at the Library. He's alright, a bit bossy but you get used to that.

Now the excitment that I was avoiding well, that happened recently. I had a brush with death, crime and mystery. And I dont mean isle 4 in the fiction section. I wished it was only the books, but it was the books that got me in the hot water.

In a every Library there are books that don't go out. For some reason or other the books are not appealing any more. So the job every good Library has to do is print up a list of the books that haven't been taken out for years and remove them from the catalouge. Klaus hadn't done this for two years. The Library was filled with books that noone wanted to read. So guess whos job it was to find them and remove them from the catalouge, yep mine.I did this job with my usual fervour. I make the job better by listening to funky-make-me-happy-music. I'm not allowed to play this music on the Libraries stereo so I have to use my i-pod. Its still cool and if I'm intrested in any of the books I take them home. So after filling the trolley full of books I take them to Klaus. Kalus makes sure I'm not canceling the good books.

"Keep, keep, keep. Ewww when did it buy that. Oh thats right it was a request. Library has never been the same since Oprahs book club caught on here." Klaus didn't like Oprahs book club. Said it was just a marketing ploy. I agreed.

"The rest you can delete Craig. Then get go and relieve Mindy at the front desk." ordered Klaus. He doesn't ask you to do anything he orders. Politley, but he still orders you.

So I'm sitting there going through the books when out of one of them falls two small plastic containers. They were old camera film continers. I opened the book and the pages had been cut so that the containers could be put in it and the book could still be closed. Now the book was a big old novel it hadn't been taken out for years. I opened one of the continers and there were pills in them. I opened the other and there was more of the same pills. Now I didn't know it then but it was at that very moment that I should have called the cops or at the least put the book back on the shelf and forgotten about the pills. But I didn't did I. I put the book in my bag and finished the rest of the cancelations and then went out and relieved Mindy. I also forgot that I had the book with the pills in my bag.

The next day at the Library there was this guy who turned up. He walked around the Library looking all over the place. When he started to throw books around and mutter to himself then Klaus came out to him. He just ignored Karl, and left the library.

"What was that all about." I asked Mindy.

"Druggie off his face. Doesn't even know what he's doing." she answered.

It was at that moment that I remembered the pills in the book. And that they were in my bag.

"Oh shit!" I excliamed.

"What now Craig?" sung out Mindy dissapointedly.

"I think I left something behind." I lied. "Gotta check my bag for it. Wont be long"

"Ok I'll ring the panic bell if your needed." said Mindy.

Mindy was ok and lying to her wasn't right. I decided I'd tell the truth to her soon. Maybe at lunch.

A Kids Story I wrote three years ago.

2006-08-02T21:36:00.000+10:00

The Car Smelt of Banana’s.

It was Monday, and the car smelt of bananas.
Andy thought it stunk. It made little Laurie cry
And Mum didn’t know how or why,
But the car smelt of bananas

It was Tuesday after school and the car smelt of bananas.
Andy still didn’t like it. He and Laurie got lolly-pops
Mum was too busy getting them to the shops
And the car smelt of bananas

It was Wednesday, and the car smelt of bananas.
Dad complained while driving Andy to soccer.
He couldn’t find out how the smell had got there
All the other kids thought it was cool
That the car that smelt of bananas.

It was Thursday, and the car still smelt of bananas.
We went to Granny and Gramp’s House.
Granny bought lavender and Gramps tied it to the steering wheel,
But it didn’t work at all.
The car still smelt of bananas.

It was Friday, and the car still smelt of bananas.
Andy took the bus to school.
Laurie and Mum took the car to the garage
And the mechanic used all his tools,
But the car still smelt of bananas.

It was Saturday, and the car smelt of bananas.
Dad went to the car wash
And cleaned inside it and out.
He cleaned in the glove box, and in every other spot
And when he finished
The car didn’t smell of bananas.

It was Sunday, they spent it at the Park
on the swings Dad pushed Mum
Andy kicked his ball and Laurie sucked his thumb
And as they drove home
They thought they smelt bananas.

The end of Black Bart. True!

2006-07-24T13:51:00.000+10:00

Epic Tad Dat Mat and Musical watch as Blue speeds off to catch Bart and save the Stranger.

"Ohhhh! We wanted to go with Blue Mister Epic" complains Dat.
"Isa better thing to staya here. We can't help end this problem. I'm an old man youse are kids and Musical couldn't hurt a fly couldja" explains Epic.

"Well you are right there Epic, but I'm sure we could do something." Musical looks at the white figure glowing in front of them. "Epic this thing said it was the solution, didn't you say that thing." says Musical with point at the white figure.

"Fool, yous shouldn't fool wit stuff the blogger sends. We could be makin more trouble fer us." accuses Epic.

"You startched old crone." snaps Musical. "If wanting to save the blog is foolish thenI'm a fool." Musical turns to the figure. "Thing" he announces with the most authority he can."Do you have a name? Its just so wrong not refering to something without a name.."

The figure turns its head to Musical.
"I am called Biz-Mar." replies Biz-Mar.

Musical smirks with pride at the response and struts closer to Biz-Mar.
"Well then Biz-Mar." begins Musical. "You told 3blogs you were sent to be the solution to our current dilema, are you?"

"Yes I am." responds Biz-Mar.

"Can you save the blog, the Stranger, and get rid of Balck Bart." asks Mat

"Shh young un' you don'ts know what you're messin' wit" scolds Epic.

"No. Mat is right. Biz-Mar can you do all of this?" asks Musical again.

"Afermitave. I can do all of this." replies Biz-Mar.

"Then please being our great white hope Biz-mar. With all due haste save us." commands Musical.

Biz-Mars eye's light up his body crackles with energy. And then Biz-Mar, Epic and Musical are gone.

"Ok what happened." exclaims Dat.
"I don't know but that was soooo cool!" says Mat.
"Yeah!" affirms Dat. "That was totaly Airwolf!"

"So where did they go?" asks Dat.
"I don't know but I reckon they're going to end up in town. Lets go." Mat turns and runs to town. The others follow.

Inside Blue the blogs talk turkey.
"Ok we'll head off Bart in town. Than what?" asks AndAgain.
"Well we just tell him to hand the stranger over." says Who put.
"Oh right." snaps Box sacrastically. "That'll work. Hey I think we need something more solid. Than politeness. You know like guns and violence."
"For once I don't agree with you Who put. But we don't have any guns." replies And again. "3blogs do you have anything?"

"Sorry I've got nothing And again. But I think we'll have to do something cause. Here comes Bart." answers 3blogs. As Bart on his horse with the Stranger races down the street and Blue race towards Bart.

"Brake Blue." advises 3blogs. "Blue BREAK!" screams 3blogs. But Blue continues onward.

On Barts Horse Bart doesn't stop.
"Playing chicken with my car eh Bart." says the Stranger.
"I always win Stranger. I always win." cockily replies Bart.

"Ahhhhhhh!" screams the blogs inside Blue.

"Beeep Beeep vrooomm!" exclaims Blue. Who begins a hand break trun. Spinning around wildly.

"What the-" exclaims Bart. He pulls his horse off to the side of the road. Stopping suddenly the horse bucks throwing Bart and the Stranger off.

Blues spinning stops and he gains control. Comming to a stop and the opening his doors for the blogs to leave. They leap out as fast as they can.

"I am never going with you again Blue." says 3blogs.

The four quickly come to the aid of the Stranger.

"Hey Box, And again Who Put you were in Blue? Wow"! exclaims the Stranger. Getting up on one arm.

"Well it looks like he's ok." says And again.

"Barts out though. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy." says Box.

"So does this mean we've won?" asks the Stranger.

-click- they turn to see Bart on the ground with his gun pointed at them.

"I wuz just playin' possum Box." smirks Bart. He get up and strides towards the Stranger and the Blogs. He stops short and aims at the Stranger.
"Now to end this once and fer all." chuckles Bart.

-bang-bang- Bart truns and fires in response. -bang bang- the bullets hit with a thud into Blues side door.

'Beep beep' taunts Blue. Who backfired to distract Bart.

"Thats it I'm gonna kill you now Stranger.." starts Bart. But the Stranger and the Blogs have run into the Saloon.

"Oh your just makin' me more angry." growls the Stranger and he enters into the Saloon.
"What is this." scowls Bart surprised.

In front of him are all the blogs and the Stranger in fornt. There also was that white statue they were all looking at. Bart points his gun at them. They didn't cower or scream, in fact some laughed at him. The Stranger steps forward and gives Bart a piece of paper.

"Read the fine print Bart. Its over." tells the Stranger.

"Wha, how did ya. Its not possible. Its not possible." repeats Bart.

"You'd think so wouldn't ya Bart. But we're all here against you, with the Stranger and we want you out. Now." orders Box.

"No!" coolly Bart draws his gun and fires. Instantly in fromt of Bart Biz-Mar is there, between his thumb and index finger is the still smoking bullet. Bart turns and runs from Biz-Mar. He gets through the saloon doors and trips and falls.

"Gotcha Bart." shouts Tad.
"Yeah! we got 'im." choruses Mat and Dat. On either side of the saloon door are Mat and Tad holding a rope, which tripped up the rushing Bart.

Biz-Mar the Stranger and the blogs all come out of the Saloon and surround Bart. Biz-Mar strips Bart of his gun and his Sheriffs badge. Picks up Bart puts him on his horse. Slaps the horse on the rumps and it and Bart race off out of town.

"Yay!" everyone shouts.

"I have been told these are yours Sheriff." Biz-Mar hands the badge and the gun to the Stranger.

"From me. Umm the blogger.?" asks the Stranger.

"Yes. You are the Sheriff" replies Biz-Mar. "I am leaving now. I will return when I am needed."

And with that Biz-Mar lauches into the air and disapears into the sky.

"Well Sheriff. What do we do now?" asks Box.

"I'd say we party Box. What do you all think of that." answers the Sheriif.

Yay! - shouts the Blogs.

ENd of the story.

Phew!

The Play - final version

2006-07-20T16:28:00.000+10:00

I worked on it on paper.

Just couldn't get it right on the screen.

So here it is - Risk the play

Scene - Mother preparing dinner. She leaves the sink and starts setting the plates on the table.

Mum - Where are they?

-- Car pulls up in the driveway. ---

Dad and son enter through the kitchen door.

Son is cradling his hand. Its been bandaged it has an ice pack on it.

Son - Hi Mum!

Mum - David what happened this time.

Dad - He was jst trying to catch the ball it hit his hand awkwardly .

David (son) - No breaks Mum. Just alot of swelling. (Pauses and realises that Mum wants to talk to Dad))

David - I'll go put my stuff away then...

(Son walks out)

Dad - Calm down. There's been no bone breakage.

(Mum turns away from Dad)

(Dad goes to comfort Mum. She pulls away initally, then gives in to his embrace)

Mum - David's always been so fragile to me. Seeing him hurt himself all the time.

Dad - (softly) Its his choice.

Mum - I don't want it to be his choice.(She pulls out of Dad's embrace) Who knows what'll happen next.

David - (entering slowly into the Kitchen) Its my body Mum. I think its my choice.

Mum - But its such a risk. You don't know what can happen, the doctors said...

David - (interupting) Its my risk to take Mum, because I don't know. Where's the dignity in hiding Mum. At least this way I can find out just where I am. I need this for me.

(Dad moves to Mum)

Dad - Its not like he's base jumping.

Mum - (pleading) Promise me you wont go base jumping?

David - I can't. (Smiles) But I don't think I will.

Mum - (hands to her face) I can't stop you. Can I.

David - No.

Ten minute play - first draft

2006-07-15T21:49:00.000+10:00

Ok what do I want to talk about ?

Hmmmmmm.

Me thats way to selfish. But there is alot of good stuff there. NO! I'll try not to use it.

stage - empty blank anything could be on the stage. Ok maybe a piano.

Guy1 Walks onto the stage sits at the piano. presses a key. plays around with a few keys. then turns to the audience.

Guy1 - Ok so I can't play the piano.

Guy1 Stands up, Walks up to the edge of the stage.

Guy1 - What are you all watching for.

Guy2 walks onto the stage.

Guy2 - they're here to watch ME!

G1 (instead of Guy I'll use G) - YOU they're here to watch you?

G2 - Of course they are

G1 - Some plot line. I walk out tinkle the ivories, insult the audience and you come out and do your FIGJAM act.

G2 - Oh dear someone got up on the wrong side of the bed.

Guy3 - Hey you nuts gunna do something.

G1 - Like what?

G2 - I don't know Sing

G3 - sounds like a good idea to me!

(the three sing)

G1, 2, and 3 - Got myself a crying talking sleeping walking living Doll. Got to do my best to please her just cause she's a living doll. Got a roving eye and that is why she satisfies my soul. Got the one and only walking talking Living doll.

G1,2,3 gesture towards the side as Girl walks out.

G1 - Take a look at her hair, its real if you don't believe what I say just feel.

Girl - thats it Stop, Stop right there.

G3 - What. We're supposed to do the song, you walk around andshake your bum and walk off.

Girl - Well I'm not doing it. Its objectification.

G1 - Oh great. Why didn't we choose the air head. We could have chosen the dumb blonde, but no we had to choose the red head.

Girl - Not all blondes are dumb.

G3 - Name one

G2 - Robert Redford.

Girl - I think he ment a female.

G2 - Well I think thats homo-phobic.

No this doesn't work I'm gonna try again another time.

What is it?

2006-07-13T11:06:00.000+10:00

The large statue stands in the plain. It glows white with power.

Epic, The Stranger, Brain, Tad, Dat, and Mat arrive to see 3blogs and Blue transfixed watching the statue.

"Whoa thats bright Tad" exclaims Mat.
"Yeah" agrees Dat.

"It spoke for a while" utters 3blogs.

"It spoke. What did it say?" asks The Stanger.

"It said, I am the gift, I am the solution." replies 3blogs.

"The solution to what?" asks Brain.

"I thinks that Its somethin' that we should just leave alone." lisps Epic.

"Leave it alone." repeats 3blogs. "Leave it alone." shouts 3blogs indignantly at the old man.

"This colud be the way to beat Black Bart. If we find a way to use it we could get rid of him and save the blog." states 3blogs. "Just like if we did something when he first came here instead of sitting down and letting him takeover maybe we wouldn't be here." accuses 3blogs to Epic.

By this time Boxing Day, And again, Who put the christ in christmas, and My missing musical years. Have turned up.

"Berating the old man will not fix anything 3blogs." says Who put in his calm and comforting tones.
"Yeah." agrees Boxing day.

Everyone looks at Boxing Day.

"What I can't agree with him once and a while" responds Boxing day.

"It is certianly glowing with potential." floridly describes Musical.

'Beep beep' announces Blue.

They turn to the stranger for a translation but he's not there.

'Beep beep beep' protests Blue.

"Hey where did he go?" asks Tad.

They all look around. Blue starts roaming around the area. In the distance there is a cloud of dust and a distant 'neigh'.

'Beep beep beep' trumpets Blue.

"There he is." happily confirms Brain. "On a horse with.." he stops.

"Black Bart" spits Boxing Day.

'Vroom vroom' courageously revs Blue opening all his doors inviting others to join in.

3blogs, Box, And again, Brain, and Who put jump in the car. Tad Dat and Mat rush to join in but Epic and Musical hold them back.

"No, we are not putting you children in any more danger." trills Musical.

"Yeah. Ya need ta stay here." agrees Epic.

"Awwwwww!" whine Tad Dat and Mat as Blue roars off across the plain after Black Bart.

wow! even I didn't think this post would get so exciting

"He's headed into town."says Boxing Day.

"I reckon if we take a short cut we can head him off at the other end of town." puts forward And Again.

'Beep beep, vrooom' agress Blue who races off in the other direction.

"Is it always this fast?" asks Who put.

"No sometimes he thinks he can fly" says 3blogs.

End of Chapter 11.

Next Chapter - The showdown.

The gift from the blogger.

2006-06-28T10:25:00.000+10:00

Racing across the plain Blue with 3blogs inside are trying to find the Stranger and Brain.
"What I'm trying to say Blue is that going this fast isn't necescarily going to make the search go faster." argues 3blogs with the speeding vehicle.
'Beep Beep Beep' replies Blue
"Look if you just slow down then maybe we could look around and try to find where they could have gone." asks 3blogs.
'Beep beep Vrroom' adds blue
"I just don't understand you." shouts 3blogs. "Can you we try and work out somekind of pattern to your beeps and revving."
Screee. Blue does a full 180 degree full lock brake. The door opens.
'Beep Beeeeeep' shouts blue.
"Ok if thats how you feel." snaps 3blogs. "I'm out of here your dangerous to my sanity."
'Beeep Beeep' continues Blue.
"What are trying to do, say sorry?" asks 3blogs. "Cause I'm not getting back inside you again. You can be sure of that."
'Boooom' Thunder and lightning start above plain. In fact directly above 3blogs path a statuesque figure falls out of the sky.
'Beep Beep, Vrrom Vrooom' shouts out Blue.
Which when translated means - You idiot I stopped because that thing is going to fall right where your walking.
"I don't care anymore Blue. I'm going to find them all on my own." shouts back 3blogs unknowingly walking into a great danger.
Once again Blue realises its up to him to save the day.
'Vrrooom. Beep beep beep' and he's off as fast as he can after 3blogs.
'Ughh! that car is annoying how does the Stranger put up with him, it. Here I am humanising a car. Hang on he's not stopping. And why is it getting dark all of the sudden.' thinks 3blogs as he looks up at the figure falling right on him.

As the figure falls, Blue races towards 3Blogs. The falling object falls, Blue races. 3blogs cowers expecting the worst.
'Beep beep' trumpets Blue getting to 3blogs first. The passengers door flys open. Without thinking 3blogs leaps into the passing Blue. Safe.

'BOOOOOOM' the object hits the plain. Lightning and thunder strike it.
'Yarrrrrrrrgh!' exclaims the statuesque figure. Its arms raised to the sky. The lightning and thunder continue the rain down on the figure.

Then its quiet. The clouds dissaper. The sun starts to rise.

At the shack Epic, the Stranger, Brain and the boys stand watching the happenings.
"Cooool!" exclaim Tad, Dat and Mat.
"Your car is the greatest Stranger." says Tad.
"Yeah." agrees Dat and Mat.

"What is it?" asks the Stranger.
"Is thinks its a gift. Ands I thinks Barts gunna want it too." replies Epic.

End of Chapter 10

Blog the Mad Mothers and Everything**

2006-06-12T11:07:00.000+10:00

"Well Stranger inna begining, there was nothing. Well I'm kinda not sure, but whens I got here there was nothing but me." starts Epic.
"Nothing?" questions the Stranger.
"Well yeah. Just white. Me and white. A whole loada white." The old blog pauses for a while and puffs on his cheroot. "So much white. Alls different now."
"What happened next?" prompts the Stranger
"Well the others came. The idiot Whats Corbiscide first, he's out there" Epic points over to the rocky hills behind the town."Just asks hims-self whats Corbiscide all da time"
"I've never noticed the rocky hills before." mentions the Stranger.
"Well ya gets used ta dat." Epic takes anoter puff. "Its always bin a-changing, since HE stopped."
"Corbiscide" gueses the Stranger.
The old man takes the cheroot from his mouth and turns to look at the Stranger. His eyes are red and burning.
"Dontcha ever say that name. Your not him, and noone deserves that name buts him." Epic turns back to looking at the town. "Ya thinks ya him, buts ya not. Ya know that, dontcha?"
"I've decided to believe that I'm here in this place. That my car is here, you and all the blogs are here. And that I'm in control of what I do." answers the Stranger.
"Heh!" laughs Epic."Your a fool like 3Blogs. Ya thinks this is solid and thats ya can react to whats comes atcha." Epic stands up and lifts his arms in the air."This aint solid, it all changes." He turns to the Stranger his red burinig eyes glow."Ya seen the posts dintcha? They came from nowhere. Grews up like trees they did."
"Of course I did." replies the Stranger.
"Wells it proves ya not HIM dont it?" Epics eyes glow red in the Strangers face.
"Yes it does but it doesn't prove I'm not here does it." snaps back the Stranger.
Epic turns away."Well there's something else comming, cause HE'S been blogging again. Not just writting 'bouts you and us here. And its comming now."

The ground rummbles and the sky lights up with lightning and thunder cracks.
"How did you know this?" demands the Stranger.
"I'ms the first. I knows whats comming. And this ones a bigun." Epics old hand points to the plain beyond the river.
As the two watch, Brain Tad, Dat and Mat come running around the house.
"Wow" says Tad.
"Cool" says Mat
"Told you something was happening" snaps Dat
"Whats happening Epic?" asks Brain.
"HE's a brought another 'thing' f'r us." answers Epic.

End of Chapter 9

**Applogies to late great Douglas Adams

What Martians want Martians get

2006-06-08T17:02:00.000+10:00

Not quite sure as to how this is going to get into the serial, but it will somehow.
I promised that I'd do a photoshoped pic of Bizzaro J'onn J'onzz. And here it is in all its white hideous shame.

He'll never speak in the serial. I can't do the bizzaro speach pattern. Too good amn't it.

For those who forget - Number2

2006-05-31T16:44:00.000+10:00

So you don't get confused here is the list of characters who have appeared in the western serial which has no name. A name would be good all ideas will be accepted.

Some of the characters in the serial have funny names. Like Boxing day and Who put the Christ in Christmas. These characters are past blogs. They have to be brought together by The Stranger. Who sort of is and isn't me. But the following should explain more. Maybe I should have an introducing explaination at the start of every episode?

The Stranger - a slighlty better looking version of me, also a better thinker, speaker and drinker.

Louie - the bartender thats about all I've worked out about him. Except that he likes radiohead on his pianola.

Black Bart - tall unshaven arrogant man in black. The electronic entity attempting to take over this blog

And again I continue with the blog about nothing - (A blog)usually called And again. Caring, thoughtful, straightforward.

Blog Blog Blog - (A blog) called 3blogs. Intelligent, calm. Level-headed. A plan person.

Brain wont work - (A blog) called Brain. Has a brain but is not overly intelligent. Honest, trusting loyal.

Boxing day - (A blog) called Box. Sarcastic, caustic, loud, pessimistic.

Tad, Dat and Mat - Oval headed kids. Their mothers are part of the Mad Mothers.

Mad Mothers - the Mothers who drive large 4-wheel drives in a great big convoy to pick their children up from school. They don't like 3blogs, And again, Boxing Day and Brain wont work.

Who put the Christ in Christmas - (A blog) called Who put. The town priest and the older brother of Boxing Day

My missing musical years - (A blog) called Musical. The music teacher to the oval headed kids.

Entymological musings - (A blog) called Enty. The school teacher of the oval headed children.

The Epic Tale begins here - (A blog) called Epic or Old man Epic. The first blog and posibly knows everything.

Blue - The Strangers over ambitious rusty blue stead.

Well that's all of the characters who have appeared so far.

There is the 5 posts and that is hard to explain but it does show where I'm comming from. Sort of.

The Splash!

2006-05-30T13:27:00.000+10:00

SPLASH!
Of course Blue was not the General Lee, he wasn't even Daisy's Jeep. And even here on this blog Newtons Rule is Law.
Sometime later on the other side of the river in the shallows the water stirs. Slowly out of the water Blue emerges from the river. Rolling up the shallow bank Blue stops. The doors open and water pours out from inside Blue. Following the water out steps 3blogs.
'Beep beep' says Blue.
"I don't know what your saying Blue." answers 3blogs. "But it seems I was the only one to put on a seatbelt."
Blue starts to shake like a dog and the water sprays everywhere. 3blogs already wet doesn't bother to evade the sudden shower.
'Beeeeep Vrooom Vrooom' said Blue.
"I suppose you want to go and start looking for the Stranger and Brain?" guesses 3blogs.
'Beep beep' agrees Blue.
"Ok we should go looking for them.." starts 3blogs who is interupted by Blue opening the Drivers side door.
'Beeep beeep Vroom vroom VROOM' encourages Blue.
"I'd guess thats lets go now 3blogs." interprets 3blogs as he gets into the drivers seat. The door slams quickly on him and Blue is up and away wheels spinning in the river bank.
'Oh dear why did I get out of bed this morning?'Thinks 3blogs.

Further down the river the Stranger wakes. He opens his eyes and he's on the floor of a shack. There's a blanket on him and as he goes to get up he realises he's naked. Quickly wrapping the blanket around him, the Stranger gets up. Theres a single door to the shack as he goes to open it. It opens hitting him in the face, he falls backwards.
"Oh sorry." says Brain. "I was just comming in to check on you."
"No problem Brain" replies the Stranger getting up again.
"Oh yeah your clothes they should be dry by now." remembers Brain and he rushes off closing the door behind him.
'Now should I just wait here making sure I don't get hit buy the door again. Nah I'll wait here.' thinks the Stranger to himself.
Suddenly the door opens.
"Here's your clothes." says Brain as he throws the clothes at the Stanger."Come out when your ready the old man Epic wants to see you."
'SLAM'
After getting dressed the Stranger opens ths door and steps out onto the shacks verandah. Over by the front door is a man in a rocking chair, smoking a lit cheroot with his feet up on a small stool. He looks up at the Stranger.
"So your the Stranger the oval headed kids been talkin' 'bout?"
"Yes" replies the Stranger.
In the background a few screams and shouts, get the Stangers attention.
"Your it Brain." says one voice.
"Then your it now Tad." replies Brain touching Tad on the head.
"Uh-uh. Don't you know anything Brain you can't make it anyone who made you it. I'm un-itable." snaps Tad.
Brain nods and turns toward the other boys. "I'm gonna get you Mat and Dat" roars Brain.
More screams and shouts eurpt as the Brain chases the oval headed boys around the shack.
"The boys founds ya" Says Epic. "They're playin hookey from choir practice. Found the two of ya on the river bank. Say they heard the splash and came out see what it was. They came and got me."
"Ok that explains almost everything I wanted to know." says the Stranger.
"Ya want ta know more Stranger" asks Epic.
"I want know everything. All of it" answers the Stranger.
"Well that gonna take some time." replies Epic.

End of Chapter 8

The Long Way 'round

2006-05-19T16:50:00.000+10:00

With his headlights on full Blue streaks across the barren feilds that surround the town. Inside the mighty blue stead, 3blogs directs the Stranger on how to get to his place.
"They should be at our place by now Stranger." Directs 3blogs. "But you'll have to avoid the Church."
"Cool there's not much out here to avoid 3blogs so I think we can get around quite easily." replies the Stranger.
"Well not in a straight line we wont." comments Brain not work.
"What?" asks the Stranger.
"Brain is right. Your going to have to go around the river." answers 3blogs.
"We could use the bridge!" interjects Brain
(not that Brain would know he was interjecting or what interjecting means. I just was looking for another adjective and interject came out)
"It would be shorter but then we'd have to deal with the old man" answers 3blogs.
"River? old man? bridge?" asks the Stranger.
"Pardon" replies 3blogs.
"Where's the river, where's the bridge and who's the old man." clarifies the Stranger.
'Beep beep' answers Blue
"Oh no, not that Blue" responds the Stranger
"What did Blue say" asks Brain.
"Oh nothing much" replies the Stranger. "Just that the river is comming up and he reckons that he can jump it."
"I don't think thats a good idea" says Brain
"Your not the only one Brain." agrees the Stranger "Blue we don't know how big the river is,or even if its got water in it. So how about we try the bridge, who knows the old man there might be ok." begs the Stranger to his obstinate car.
'Beep Beep Vroom Vroom' answers Blue. And he races towards the river.
"Oh great really great Blue." says the Stranger
"What did he say" asks Brain
"I think we should just buckle up and hange on Brain" Grimly replies 3blogs

As the rusty blue stead reaches the bank of the river the occupants start to scream fearing that the Blue's overconfidence has cost them their lives, or at least the cleanliness of their underwear. The bank itself is most unusual as it curves upwardsto meet the river. Thus creating a ramp, which launches Blue into the air.

As Blue flies over the river he eurpts into song.
'Bah da dada da dadada dahh dahh dahh da'
"Great he thinks he's the General Lee now" groans the Stranger.
"Like from Dukes of Hazzard. Hey what does that make me?" asks Brain.

However Brains question is never answerd as Blue's trajectory begins to obey Newtons law and starts to descend. Again the screaming continues, till the journey ends with a.....

End of Chapter 7 (sorry about leaving you hanging)

Chapter 6: The 5 Posts

2006-05-10T18:18:00.000+10:00

Outside of town the Stranger 3blogs Brian and Blue watch the Mad Mothers depart the school.
"Well thats that." says the Stranger. "Lets get in Blue and go find AndAgain and Box."
"Ok but lets go around the long way" says 3blogs.
"The mothers are taking the kids home now. Its OK isn't it?" asks the Stranger
"No not on day four." replies Brain not work.
"uh day 4. Please explain?" asks the Stranger again.
"Well seeing we have time now I can give you a full answer." States 3blogs who continues."Much like the world you come from we have days in a set 'week'. The blog week lasts 8 days. The days aren't named because that would alienate some cultures and its much easier to spell and pronounce day4 than wednesday."
"Yeah that makes sense, but why 8 days? What the!" exclaims the Stranger as the ground around them starts to shake.
"Oh no a blog quake. Just stay where you are and you wont be hurt." warns 3blogs.
"A blog quake?" the Stranger shouts, but the noise of the blog quake overwhelms his question.
The rumbling and shaking continues around the 4. And then urupting from the ground around them 5 giant posts start climbing toward the sky.
The posts continue to climb until they are as high as a 3 storey bulding. When the nosie subsides the 5 posts are surrounding the 4. The Posts are at least 5 meters wide, and each post is 10 meters apart forming a perfect hexagon.
"This happen often 3blogs?" asks the Stranger.
"Most weeks Stranger. Just not to this level at least not for a long while" answers 3blogs.
Walking up to the closest post the Stranger sees writing on it.
"Galaxy" annouces the Stranger. "Its called Galaxy what are they and why are they named Galaxy"
"No that ones named Galaxy, this one's named Space Ghost." corrects 3blogs.
"Who's Black Canary," asks Brain. "Its got a picture, is it her?"
The Stanger goes to the post 'Black Canary' that Brain is oggling.
"Yeah thats her" he answers.
"She's sexy" replies Brian.
"How does this happen 3blogs?" asks The Stranger.
"Well someone has been blogging and this is the result here. Like I said before this town and everything around it is a mirror of the corbiscideit blog." answers 3blogs.
"But I'm in here so this has to be Black Bart blogging." states the Stranger.
"Unless.." adds 3blogs.
"Unless somone else has hacked the password and done their own entries. Its that pesky Martian Manhunter who's doing all of this." concludes the Stranger.
"No its you. Or more precisely the real you outside in the real world." corrects 3blogs.
"Excuse me. I'm the real person. I'm Corbiscide" the Stranger nervously corrects 3blogs fearing the worst that he really is just a figment of another persons imagination and not what he thinks he is.
"Did you read that Stranger?" asks 3blogs
"Read what?" snaps the Stranger back as the realisation of what he is, is trying to break through.
"Read what the writer is writing. He still calls you the Stranger when you believe your Corbiscide. You must have known this all along, didn't you Stranger?" asks 3blogs.
The Stranger stands silent by the post named Black Canary.
"I don't remember blogging about Black Canary. In fact I was never going to comment on comics at all." remembers the Stranger."All I remember was arriving here in Blue."
"Didn't you think it strange that your all of the sudden in the blog?" asks Brain.
"I didn't think at all, in fact now that you mention it, yeah that was a bit weird." replies the Stranger.
Silence permeates the hexagon of posts. The wind blows and a tumble weed rolls by.
"So what do we do now?" asks Brain.
'Beep beep Vroooomm Beep beep beep' replies Blue.
"Your right Blue. Hang it all. If I think its real its real." answers the Stranger."Lets go get And again and box. Hop in guys."
The two blogs obey but as they get into Blue Brain asks 3blogs.
"Do you think we should ask him how he can understand Blue and we can't?"
"Thats probably better left for later Brain." answers 3blogs as the Blue stead revs its engine and takes off.

End Chapter 6 (I think)

Post Number 5

2006-04-27T11:59:00.000+10:00

Whew! Made it. This was exhausting. I normally post once a week. I'd better slow down before I pull a hamstring or something.

Better end it with my favourite super-gal Black Canary. Yes Black Canary. No Power-Girl for me.

C'mon who wants to be super-sized all the time.

Post Number 4

2006-04-27T11:51:00.000+10:00

Ha! Equaled you now J'onn (if that is your real name).
Like the Space Ghost thing.
Is SG related to Birdman? Cause they have the same voice, as does Mightor. Are we seeing a line of heros from Pre-Historic to the Future.

Space Ghost and his pecs of ..... um .... ghostlyness ... um yeah.

Post Number 3

2006-04-27T11:46:00.000+10:00

This is a pic from that scary comic Empire. It really spooked me because I thought the bad guys were going to be the Aliens or one of the others on Euchrist. But the daughter well I really didn't see it comming. It shook me up I don't know if I like it or not. As a piece of literature its rather subversive and makes you think. If any comic book should be turned into a movie this should be it. Bryan Singer to direct.

Post Number2

2006-04-27T11:38:00.000+10:00

Hey this is the second post for today.
Here's a picture for fun.

d'oh!
Its supposed to be an animated gif but blogger doesn't take gifs does it.

Edited 1/6/2006
Thanks Prof X. For the hint as to how to get animated gifs working.
This is what it's supposed to look like.

Pretty cool huh!

Post Number 1

2006-04-27T11:00:00.000+10:00

Outside the church the oval headed children wait for the choir leader to turn up.
"Musical's late AGAIN Tad" complained Dat.
"Whats new." repied Tad bored.
"I'll tell you whats new!" Shouted Mat running up to Tad and Dat."There's a Stranger in town. Did you see him take 3blogs and Brain in his blue wagon."
"No we didn't. Enty had us in detention." answered Tad
"Well you should have seen it. All our Mums were comming down the street and the Stanger was running back to his wagon with 3blogs and Brain running after him." starts Mat.
"3blogs and Brain out in the street while our Mums are driving, your lying." accuses Dat.
"No way. I'm not lying ask Jon he was there with me." retorts Mat.
"Hey Jon, Jon!" Shouts Tad. "Did you see 3blogs and Brain running after some stranger."
"Yeah that blue wagon playing chicken and then reversing down the street was so cool" replies Jon.
"Yeah it was totally Airwolf Tad. You missed out big time." adds Mat
"My Mum hates 3blogs and Brain not work." says Tad
"And Boxing Day and that girl who's always with them." says Mat.
"You mean And again Mat don't you?" corrects a lyrical voice.
"Mr My Musical Years we didn't know you were here." replies Tad
"Well now its time to stop chatting and start using your voices for singing. In you all go. Come on now." orders My Musical years.
The oval headed children start entering the church when Mat asks
"Mr Musical?"
"Yes Mat" replies Musical
"Why do our Mums hate 3blogs Brain Box and And again?" asks the oval headed child
"Its best you don't bother about that now Mat. There's nothing we can do about it." replies Musical.
"But why?" asks Mat.
"I can't answer it now Mat maybe later. C'mon we've got some singing to do."
"Its always later" sulks Mat as Musical ushers him into the church.

End of Post Number 1

Meanwhile...

2006-04-22T17:21:00.000+10:00

Meanwhile at the other end of town, And again and Boxing Day shelter in the church as the mad mothers 4 wheel drive stampede rolls by.
"Well we didn't get home thanks to Stanger, but we're not in all of that" coughs Box
Behind them a stately voice addresses them.
"And again, Brother its nice to see you here"
And again turns to address the priest.
"Who put the christ in christmas, how are you?"
"Theres no need for full names And again. I'm quite fine." pauses Who put "But todays day4." adds the priest in a deliberate tone.
"Gee shotput everyone but brain knows that one" snaps back Box.
"And brother as you well know day4 is when the chidren come here for choir practice." replies Who put. "The mothers will be here soon won't they?" asks And again.
The priest nods.
"Crap!" exclaims Box.
"Is what they will turn you into if they catch you two here." adds Who put.
"Can we get out the back way Who ?" asks And again.
"Yes of course you can but quickly." answers the blog priest.
And again turns to Box "We're going through the church not staying here got that."
"Hey I've got no problem" agrees Box as he starts rushing through the chruch leaving the other two behind.
"I thought he hated comming here?" says And again.
"No he hates staying here. He's used the back way many times." answers Who put."Quickly before they get here."
"You don't have to tell me twice" replies And again running after Box.
"I thought I already did" comments Who put.

End of Meanwhile

Blue to the rescue.

2006-04-10T10:17:00.000+10:00

As the dust and noise monsters its way up the street the gas lamps shake to the convoy of the mad mothers.
'Get in and lets go' revs Blue
"Did he just talk through his engine again? asks Brain.
"At the moment I really don't want to think about that Brain" answers 3Blogs as the two blogs climb into blues modest yet roomy interior. In the drivers seat the Stranger talks softly to his rusty steed.*
"Ok blue we got to get through this without a scratch, no showboating this time OK?"
'beep beep' replies Blue.
The rusty steads wheels spin in the dirt as Blue reverses out into the street, and then stops.
"Blue I said no showboating, c'mon now this is not the time to play chicken." demands the Stranger. Blues headlights flick to high beam as his engine revs 'C'mon I dare you'. The convoy continues to hurtle down like a horizontal avalanche toward the defiant rusty blue stead.
"Blue" warns the Stranger.
'C'mon I can take 'em with two wheels tied behind my back.' revs Blue
"Stranger you didn't say that this transport had a suicidal streak." snaps 3blogs.
"Blue" warns the Stranger again
"Yeah I think we should leave" agrees Brain not work as he attempts to open the door. "Uhh the doors are locked Stranger"
Still the avalanche continues.
"Blue if there was a time to do something I'd say it was now." begs the Stranger.
Suddenly the rusty stead lurches backwards down the street.
"Ok this is good but where are we going?" shouts the Stranger.
The rusty blue steed continues backwards down the street away from the closing convoy of doom.
Then a quick hand brake turn (in reverse mind you) a change to foward gear and the rusty blue steed races out of town.
"We can stop now were past the school" says 3blogs looking out of the rear window.
Blue slows down and stops. They watch as the convoy halts suddenly outside the school, each car quickly fills one by one and turns back the way it came.
"Um just a comment." asks the Stranger
"Yes" replies 3blogs
"The reason that all the school kids have oval heads is my sub-conscious, isn't it."
"Yes there's that reason and the fact that you mentioned them recently." answers 3blogs.
"So everything I mention on this blog will end up in here?" guesses the Stranger
"It will make its way here." replies 3blogs "But like us it wont be exactly the way you wrote it."

End of Chapter 5

*yes I realise that I have been spelling steed stead. sorry

Mad Mother's

2006-04-05T10:47:00.000+10:00

"....so you see, its all quite self explanitory why your imagination has set this situation as a western." finished 3blogs.
"Did anyone else get that cause I sure didn't?" sarcasticly responds box.
"Well I did and I'm sure Stranger did to. Didn't you Stranger?" replies and again.
"Well..." starts the Stranger "I thought I did for a while. But when you started about the id, the ego and the super-ego I kinda lost it 3blogs"
"I didn't get any of it. But if there is a super-ego does he wear a cape 3blogs" adds brain not work.
"hah!" responds box.
The clock in the saloon strikes 0730 blogtime. (blogtime has 25 hours. Why? Well I made it up so there's going to be 25 hours)

"You all better be going on and take the Stranger with you." orders Louie.
"Yeah we don't want to be taken by Mad Mothers." agrees box. "C'mon Stranger time to go."

As the sun goes down the 4 blogs lead The Stranger out of the saloon and into the street.
"Why is it sunset and 7:30 in the morning?" asks Stranger.
"We haven't time to explain this now" answers 3blogs.
"Yeah." adds brain "We don't want to be out. When the Mothers are about. Because they scream and shout, they'll chew this suckers out"
Box groans.
"What.." starts The Stranger. But he's quickly cut off by And again.
"We really don't have the time Stranger please quickly."

They continue up the main street leaving the saloon far behind. When the Stranger remembers.
"Blue." He stops and starts going back to the saloon.
"Brain grab him." shouts 3blogs.
Brian clasps his surprisingly strong hands around around the strangers torso. And starts to drag him back.
"You don't want to be out." brain tells the Stanger.
"Blue I can't forget Blue." says the Stranger as he tries to struggle out of brains grip.
"He's holding us back let him go or we're all going to be dead, or worse." shouts box.
Brain complies with box's order and the Stranger starts running back to the saloon.
"What do we do now 3blogs?" asks and again.
"Well I know what I'm going to do. I'm getting inside." answers box running up the street.
"And again go with box you'll be safe with him." orders 3blogs.
"But.." retorts And again.
"No go with box. Brain you and I better see what we can do to save the Stanger."
"But the Mothers 3blogs." asks brain.
"We can hide in the saloon if we can get there in time." replies 3blogs.

The two blogs start running after The Stranger, while And again turns and follows the dissapearing box up the street.

The Stranger arrives outside the bar. He gets to his rusty blue stead (where Stranger had tied him up in chapter one hiatus shmatus - the stanger on a blue stead.
"Hey Blue how are you doing." asks Stranger. The Blue stead revs its engine grumply.
"I'm sorry but the blogs they got me going away without you. But I'm back now, do you forgive me?" asks Stranger
"beep beep" responds Blue.
"Thanks." says Stranger as he unties Blue.
"Stranger." says 3blogs as he and brain arrive.
"Is this yours?" asks blue.
"Yes." replies Stranger.
"We must get in the saloon and ask Louie to hide us before the..." trails off 3blogs.
"This transport is yours?" asks 3blogs.
"Yes" the Stranger answers."This is Blue. Couldn't leave you behind could I Blue?"
Blue revs 'of course you couldn't.'

The two blogs look at each other. The town hall clock strikes 0745 and the sun sets. The street lamps flame into existance. In the distance the sound of engines grows.
"Can your transport carry us?" asks 3blogs.
"Of course Blue can."
"Is Blue fast?" asks brain.
"Of course."
"Then we've got a chance we could survive them." says 3blogs.
"Survive who?" asks Stranger.
"Them" points Brain towards the top of the street at a ball of dust and noise entering town.
A siren sounds 'werrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr'
"What was that." asks Stranger.
"Schools out." answers 3blogs. "Here comes the Mad Mothers."

The dust and noise grows louder and larger. In it Stranger and the blogs can just make out the shilouette of 4-wheel drive wagons and vans, the elephants of the urban jungle. And the stampeded had begun.

End of Chapter 4

The cast of characters so far

2006-04-01T18:40:00.000+11:00

So you don't get confused here is the list of characters who have appeared in the western serial which has no name. A name would be good all ideas will be accepted and possibly rejected.

The Stranger - a slighlty better looking version of me, also a better thinker, speaker and drinker.

Louie - the bartender thats about all I've worked out about him. Except that he likes radiohead on his pianola.

Black Bart - tall unshaven arrogant man in black. The electronic entity attempting to take over this blog

And again I continue with the blog about nothing. - usually called And again. Caring, thoughtful, straightforward.

Blog Blog Blog - called 3blogs. Intelligent, calm. Level-headed. A plan person.

Brain not work - called Brain. Has a brain but is not overly intelligent. Honest, trusting loyal.

Boxing day - called Box. Sarcastic, caustic, loud, pessimistic.

Well that's the roll call at the moment. More new charcters comming. Maybe some oval headed kids.

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor

2006-04-01T17:57:00.000+11:00

We interupt this Western drama with a football game.

Not just any football Australian Rules Football.

Played with an oval ball, on an oval field, while oval headed chilldren dream of playing this unique game when they get old enough.

**** Hypocrasy Alert ****

I don't play Aussie Rules (pronounced Oh-zee Roolz) I play the world game. Football, Soccer, Wog ball and any other assortment of homophobic allusions you can think of. I like soccer but it just is not a spectacle as Aussie Rules.

**** End of Hypocrasy****

As for the oval headed children I really don't know about them but it seamed to fit. I hope they do exist but maybe they only exist in my imagination which means they could happen to appear sometime later on this very blog. If you want to hear more about the oval heads then by all means comment "yes I'd like to seee more oval heads, please". Remember to add plaese or it just wont happen.

Back to the football It is one of the oldest forms of organised football in the world (check the date of the establishment of the Melbourne Football club)

"1838 Formation of the Melbourne Cricket Club"

Now try to beat that.

Next time more western serial I promise (and maybe some oval headed children)

The clause

2006-03-25T17:12:00.000+11:00

In the saloon the blogs, and Louie watch as the Stranger reads the fine print.
It reads:
The electronic entity can only be stopped if the blogger can unite his forgotton blogs together to oppose said electronic entity and oust him from power.
When finished he looks up to the once forgotten blogs.
"Are you sure this isn't a joke?" he asks.
"Its no joke. Its our last chance otherwise we will never be read." replies And again.
"Is it worth it Stranger? Are we worth it?" asks 3blogs.
"Of course we're worth it" answers brain.
"What makes you think he's going to stay brain. He left before. He's gonna leave now. Aren't you Stranger?" snaps boxing day.

The 4 blogs and Louie look at the Stranger. He looks away from their stares, walks back to the bar puts down the magnifying glass and the contract.
"Give me a drink Louie, a big one" asks the Stranger.
Boxing Day throws his hands up in the air.
"Oh great now he's going to get plastered and wallow in a drunk haze until Bart shows us to electronic anhilation."
The Stranger collects his drink from Louie, and turns to the blogs.
"Is box always like that? I didn't imagine him to act that way"
"Well we've all developed differently. And box isn't always like that." replies And again.
The Stranger smiles, takes a sip of the drink.
"Its going to be intresting getting know you all again."
"So your staying now." asks And Again.
"Yes And Again I am, theres only one thing." answers the Stranger
"Whats that?" asks Brain.
"Why is the blog set in a western?"

End of Chapter 3

Black Bart

2006-03-13T15:37:00.000+11:00

While the blogs upstairs watch, the conversation between the stranger and Black Bart continues.
"Your what?" asks the stranger
"You heard me blog boy." snaps bart back.
"Your going to run me out of my own blog."
"Thats exactly right." answers bart.
"Really, how are you going to do this?"
"Did you read the fine print in the agreement you made with blogger?" asks Bart smiling a thin and wicked smile.
"What fine print?"
Bart doesn't answer he finishes his drink, and goes to leave. As he gets to the saloon doors he stops.
"It always pays to read the fine print blog boy." Bart chuckles to himself as he leaves the bar.

The stranger turns to Louie the Barman. Louie hands him a piece of paper and a magnifying glass.
"Its under the second last paragraph." says Louie.
The stranger looks at the document, straining his eyes.
"Where Louie?"
"Under the second last paragraph."
"All thats under the scond last paragraph is a smudge." replies The Stranger.
"Thats it." answers Louie.
The Stranger holds the magnifying glass over the smudge. Out loud he reads.
"If the blogger does not update his/her site every month then the site becomes open for any electronic entities to take ownership of said blog."
The Stranger puts down the document and the magnifying glass.
"Well I'll be seeing you Louie."
"I'd say don't be a stranger but, you are one." says Louie.

The Stanger gets to his feet disapointed. He turns to go.
"Aren't you going to read the rest of the small print Stranger."
Behind him 3blogs, boxing day, and again and brain not work are coming down the stairs.
"There's more?" asks the stranger.
"Of course there's more." replies boxing day. "This ain't no three part mini-series its a serial."

End of Chapter 2

meanwhile upstairs....

2006-02-22T13:27:00.000+11:00

In one of the rooms up the stairs the blogs hide from Black Bart. Glancing out of the door (which like all saloons opens onto the second floor balcony which over looks the main bar where you can see everything if your a cowardly blog).

Brain not work, peeks through the gap of the door he holds ajar. Also in the room are Boxing Day, blog blog blog and And again I continue...
"So what do you see Brain?" asks 3blogs
"Oh who cares Barts gonna kill him and then we'll get on with waiting till we get deleted" snaps Boxing day.
"No they're just talking, well Barts talking to stranger" answers Brain not work
"Talking! You've got to be kidding" Boxing Day goes and shoves Brain not work out of the way and takes look by himself.
"Hey no fair Box" replies Brain "Where does he get off shoving me like that I bags'd the door. Box got the bed and..." Brain pauses "Why did you bags the window 3blogs?"
"'cause he reckons that whoever wins the fight down there they're both gonna come up here and start the massacre." answers Boxing day.
"Stranger wouldn't delete us would he? He wouldn't he can't he made us." panics Brain
"Now look what you've done Box. Calm down Brain stanger wouldn't delete any of us." answers And again.
"And again is right Box stranger wont delete us. Your at the door now so tell us what you see." orders 3Blogs

hiatus shmatus - the stranger on the blue stead

2006-02-20T10:37:00.000+11:00

Time passes, tumble weeds roll by this blog with a dry absent breeze blowing them through the desolate landscape. In the distance a lone figure rides a blue and rusty steed. He has been long from this land and knows he has to return to make it verdant and green once more. Continuing onwards into the old west town he notices the signs of what was once a thriving blog. Sure it wans't funny but it was factual and informative. He stops outside the saloon, ties his rusty blue steed and locks the saddle. He strides on through the sqweeky saloon doors into the dingy shadows within.

His eyes adjust slowly to the darkness, the pianola is playing a familiar tune as he sidles up to the bar. The barman is mumbling the chorus, as he notices the new arival in his bar.
"I'm a wierdo..." He stops and contines. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Thought it was time to come back."
"Thought it was time did you. What makes you think we want you back?"
"I built this blog, sure it was never that funny but it was mine."
"You left us before Christmas and never came back."
"I'm back now."
"We can see that."
"We?"
The stranger looks around the dingy saloon. At one of the tables is a group of blog entries. The first ones he ever made, they look at him distrustfully. The barman continues.
"Did you ever think about how they felt while you were away, did you?"
The stranger sheepishly looks from the blog entries and back to the bartender.
"Your right I didn't. I got no excuses but I'm back now and we got blogging to do."
"We stranger. I don't think you've got the right to say we. Your on your own..."

The bartender stops as a comotion begins outside the bar. The blogs panic and rush upstairs. The sqweeky saloon doors open and a shilouette of a tall man in black stands in the doorway. He strides in his spurs jangling with ever step. He's tall very tall, yet slim and lithe. His eyes like black fire bore into the strangers face.

"Who are you?" asks the stranger.
The man in black leans his arms on the bar."Louie the usual."
"Sure thing." answers the bartender. He pours a shot glass of rot gut and passes the drink to Bart.
"So your the stranger them blog entries been waiting for?"
"Yep."
"Bet you're wonderin' who I am then?
"Yep."
The man in black stands back for theatrical effect and puts his hands on his hips.
"I'm Black Bart and I run things here now. And I'm gonna run you out of town."

End of chapter one.

boxing day

2005-12-22T11:42:00.000+11:00

Here in OZ we have a holiday the day after x-mas, its funily enough called BOXING DAY.

What happens on boxing day?

A. organised fighting as a result to quell the x-mas brawls between family members
B. the only day in the OZ callender when you can pick any politian or celebritiy to fight without leagal consequences
C. the day when the sanitation engineers come to pick up all the rubbish from x-mas
D. when the new x-mas holiday movies start at the cinemas

Well apart from the qeue lining up to pick on Russel 'Rusty' Crowe the answer is actually C and D.

I'm going to see Narnia (hope Aslan isn't crap CGI).

But what also happens on Boxing Day is the Australian Cricket equivelant of the Super-Bowl. The Boxing Day Test Match. So called because it starts on boxing day. Every boxing day louts and yobbos gather to drink and whatch the first day of a five day cricket match.

Yes FIVE days of cricket. Thats why its called a test match. Its a test of your strength stamina and if you don't love cricket boredom.

So I'll be whatching Narnia and waiting to see wether the South-Africans can take the game to 5 days again.

Corbiscide out.

who put the christ in christmas

2005-12-19T10:32:00.000+11:00

You'd all have known the normal and regular complaints from militant christians about the overcomercialisation of the celebration of Jesus Christ's birth. I'm even sure that you all know that there is no way that Jesus was born in december, and that the day was chosen by the Emperor Constantine because it fell on the same day as a pagan holy day. Even if you don't I'm sure you all have at leat once thought that Santa Claus and Saint Nicholoas are not the same person. They aren't. Saint Nick is real and did exist way long ago (google Saint Nicholas if you want to), Santa Claus was made up by Coca-Cola to sell more Coke during the winter low period (i think?). So know you know all the fake stuff about X-mas.

What I do around this time of year is watch all of you jokers running around trying not to buy underwear for uncle Bob again. I DON'T DO X-MAS ANY MORE. Of course you'll say that when and if I have kids then I'll start again. Well thats for then and not now, but right now I don't. And its is so easy this time of year. You buy the cheap stuff around that you need cause its all so cheap. Your not "running around like a choock with its head cut off" theres no pressure at all.

I advise all of you who are against the comercial hype and the selfishness that has been brought into the celebration of Christ's birth (even if you don't beleive, but especially if you do) please stop buying presents. Don't buy lights and special stuff for your house. If you must put something outside your house make it a cross (non-burnt) or the nativity. Spend you x-mas money on the poor, the needy, the homeless, the orphans and those who you think need something. Sing carrols, play Mel Gibsons gift to the world The Passion. Cause thats what He was born to do. He died so we might live, so we should die to our greed and selfichness of this period.

Celebrate THE CHRIST of CHIRSTmas. Not just now but everyday.

Corbiscide out.

Brain work not!

2005-12-15T10:16:00.000+11:00

Ever had one of those days when after a big night looking at the computer screen and trying to learn new things, well your stuffed. If you haven't you have never done a part-time course while still working in a different discipline.

I'm stuffed I couldn't navigate my way out of those Pizza Hut mazes on the kids menu. They haven't had a kids menu at Pizza Hut for twenty years. Shit I'm old. I remember when Australia still had paper money. I remember when the two dollar and one dollar coin came into circulation, David McBeth was collecting them like gold nuggets.

Australia not using paper money you wonder. Well sometime around the 1990's Australia decided to change from paper money to a more secure and harder to copy plastic notes. But they can take static electricity so they stick together, they also come in gaudy colours. Have a look.

10 dollar notes are blueish and I don't know if it has a knickname
20 dollar notes are Orange and have no knickname I know of
50 dollar notes are Yello and called pineapples
100 dollar notes are green and called iguanas

Funny huh! Any forger in his/her right mind would copy these notes on aesthetic grounds. "I can't do this they're just so wrong."

Oh well thats what you get living in the land of OZ.
Christmas means BBQ's and the beach, boxing day means cricket at the MCG and Football is spoken four different codes.

Corbiscide Out

My missing musical years

2005-12-14T10:10:00.000+11:00

Recently I went and borrowed a book out of the library. It was called 1001 albums you must hear before you die.

Now I've heard most of the albums in this prestigious list but an intresting thing struck me as I flicked though this tome. Tome indeed 949 pages of albums from the 1950 to 2005. And to add the required comment "All killer no filler".

But getting back to what struck me. As I got through the pages I recognised the albums from my childhood, and my parents albums that they played for me. Yet after 1986 (more precisley after page 552 Bon Jovi's Slipery When Wet) there were all these albums I'd never heard of. This black hole of musical knoweledge continued there on until we get to page 656 with Nirvana's Nevermind from 1991.

These years corespond to the five years when my family went gypsy for a while. We traveled from Perth W.A. to Darwin in the Northern Territory. We ended up in Melbourne Victoria of all places, where by then Nirvana were rocking the world with Smells like teen spirit. Mind you the 80's were a hard time to find good misic on the radio in Australia. Triple J only existed in the eastern states of Australia, and the bands mentioned that I'd be intrested in now are not the bands or the music I was into back then.

I'm wondering how many other poeple have a tale of holes as well.

Corbiscide out.

Blog is therapy?

2005-12-12T10:08:00.000+11:00

The question is a valid one. Is this a cathartic release that enables us to go through the rest of our week or day (depending on how often we blog). Does it lighten the burden on ourselves by telling others about our problems and passions?

I'd have to agree.

I've spent the last six years working on a project that has provided very little money in return for all the sweat and brain cells I used up in making it. At the moment it still isn't finished and I'm seriously thinking of leaving it. Yet its been six years and a part of me finds it hard to drop it.

I am a tenacious (read bloody minded) person and I'll strive to get certian things finished, but I have my limits. I think I found it this year. I used to spend every waking hour thinking about it. Trying to find solutions to problems, hitting dead-ends, finally getting success. It was a great struggle, yet a person can only struggle for so long and then you've got nothing left to give. You intrest and passion turns to apathy and growing resentment. I am dry, wrung out of ideas and I have no intrest in continuing.

Yet I know I'll get to it today and wednesday and maybe thrusday. Mabe I'll have a win and I'll get into it a bit harder. Is it a viscious cricle of gambling proprotions. Am I addicted to the succes of doing something noone else has even thought of doing.

Well that does make me a bit lighter but it hasn't really helped.

Maybe this doesn't work.

Corbiscide Out.

And again I continue with the blog about nothing.

2005-12-05T10:29:00.000+11:00

Well as the sub-title says nothing makes this blog something. But then again if it were about nothing then I would just be writing nothing or maybe something that is nothing.

If this entire blog entry was "I am a fish" 700 times then two things would be accomplished. This entry would be something about nothing and I would have all the Red Dwarf fans either happy at the parody or I'd get sued for copying someone else's idea. I don't think I'd get sued but I might get flamed. Hey at least I'd get a comment.

I sit here listening to the radio (triple j) typing this regurgitation wondering about someone else every now and again. Do we all get that, you know the days going by at a million miles a second then a moment hits and we remember a friend or someone who we care for. The world slows down, things become clear. Memories float in and out. Some are bad some are good but they're your memories and because of that they're good. We remember thoughts and feelings (good and bad), yet is it the memories that slow it all down?

I remember smells, two smells I remember really well. One is my grandmothers Dutch Cake (well any Dutch Cake really) but Nana's Dutch Cake is somthing I remember. Its a warm and cozy smell it brings back happy expectation. You know the feeling it involves being safe and fed. Then I remember moth balls. Napthalene Flakes is how they are sold these days because kids could mistake them as sweets. They do look like pepermints but they don't smell like them at all.

Memories light the corners of my mind

Misty water coloured memories

Of the way we were.

Gee those lines are pretty good, such a pity they've been lambasted to death by Ms. Striesand. Don't think I spelt your name right there Babs. Sorry.

I'm not sure if its the memories that make the world slow down, but something does happen when we remember. Other things slow the world down. When driving to somewhere new it takes allot longer yet when driving back again it doesn't take so much time. We've seen it all before and its not all new and we are not taking in every new scene opening up before us. Is this the same with friends and loved ones. We see them for the first time and we take in enough information to recognise them and then the next time we recognise them and it isn't a new person anymore. I'm not sure if it is. We see people every day that we don't know and do we take notice who they are. I've often said to people I didn't see you because of the crowd. So with allot of people we turn off the slow time remember thing. Yet when we see something in someone or of someone we turn on the recognition and memory software.

We need to remember where we've been (so we don't get lost and can find our way back) we also need to remember friends and other special people. Intresting. The perception increases and decreases when we need to remember information of our surroundings. Things can slow down around us and speed up depending on wether we need to remember or concentrate.

Well that covered a few topics didn't it.

Corbiscide Out

Entymological Musings

2005-11-28T10:59:00.000+11:00

I suppose that one writes a blog for their own enjoyment for being able to communicate to others their ideas and thoughts. Sort of an unloading of baggage that can lift the wieght of the world from our shoulders.

An Australian term for this would be 'spilling your guts'. This means telling person(s) what you know. It is often used in the context of a police interragation. Bert was caught by the pigs and they made him spill his guts. An American term would be 'stool pigeon', an English term would be to 'grass'.

Blogs are often used by the blogger to 'spill his/her guts' to everyone. I suppose I'm not going to do that as I prefer to be anonymous. Well sort of. Those who know me know I use the name corbiscide and can easily work out who this is. So if I go on about person X who did this to me, well X will know who they are and I could be in some hot water there. So that takes allot of topics about me out of this blog limiting the scope of the content. Codswallop.

Ok lets just explain Codswallop, I'm trying not to swear too much. Now I don't swear that much at all the occasional shit, and the regulation bloody (I am Austalian and it would ne un-Australian of me not to do so). But bugger, and F@#k does come out of my mouth at times (but only on the sports field) so I'm trying to get different words to express my frustration. So I turned to Codswallop, not sure of its history or how it came about. Would like to know though. It just sounds silly and stupid like most swear words do. I mean if the words meant something different then we wouldn't be saying
"Oh shit that bastard was a real dickhead."
If shit and dickhead meant something different then would could be saying.
"Oh turnip that bastard was a real corndog"
See its the meaning of the words that makes the sentance. I suppose that most of you would have worked this out before.

This blog is turning into an entymological blog it seems.

Ok here's another one my Mum pointed out to me which I've always found intresting. How come poeple swear Jesus, but not any other deity. Really think about it, when was the last time you heard someone swear Oh Buddah. Or Oh Genesh (Genesh is the Hindu god with the head of an elephant a regular on the Simpsons). I'm not going thru other deities as I think the Buddists and the Hindus on the web when reading this would understand that I am just explaining a point here. Now why is this so. Many religions have gone around the place killing people for no reason. But I suppose thats the hipocrasy of Christianity as to the religions history (which I might get into at a later date). Yet no other deity's name is used as a swear word without a large proportion of that deities followers getting more than bit uppity. There is only two reasons for this and one offeneds Christians, the other offends everyone else who isn't.

Reson one is that Christians are complacent and passive people who wouldn't bother if we used their blessed saviours name as a profanity. In certian parts of the world I'd agree with that but not in the White House right now. Chrisitans are supposed to turn the other cheek aren't they they wont mind will they. I think you'll find they do. I do. I answer back "Where". Its cheeky and most of the time the person swearing doesn't get it. But when they do its taken as a lame joke.
"Haha good one there, idiot."

Reson two. This is a bit more serious and cuts a bit for those who don't believe but I think its true. Jesus is real and he did do the whole Passion bit the way Mel Gibson meant it. He really did die for all of us, to save us all. And all this swearing is a reaction to this truth, a denial of the reality of who Jesus is.

Heavy huh! If you think things out its interesting where you end up.

Corbiscide Out.

blog blog blog

2005-11-24T10:23:00.000+11:00

Well isn't this interesting. I'm 2 days in on this tour of my own future as a minute voice in the internet and I think I'm bored of all of it.

Well maybe not completly bored, but just wondering if my musings and thought posted for all to see will never get seen. I suppose all blogers wonder that. Do they?

It's kinda weird that here I am putting all of this here for the world to read and noone will. If that wasn't a big kick in the ego I'll go hee!. Poor poor me what a pity whose being a great big wuss*.

* Wuss - a baby, a sissy

So after degrading myself in print what am I going to do about it. Well I could show youse (we explained youse yesterday) my ability with words and write a quick poem for you all to be amazed and awed about. Well I'd be happy with intrested, slightly.

In the middle of the night
when all is dark and still
I once heard a swan scream
"I've gone and lost my bill"

Ok that sucked.

I still haven't found my voice here.

Corbiscide out.

whats corbiscide

2005-11-23T16:41:00.000+11:00

Ok, first lame post done with so now for the second one.

What or who is Corbiscide.

Firstly how does one pronounce it. Well thats simple.
Cor - as in apple core
bis - as in biscuit
cide - as in cider

so you get Core-bis-cide.

Now you know how to pronounce it, I should explain its wild and mysterious origin.

I had just begun to branch out into the world of computers and the internet when I realised I didn't have a slightly cool and or mysterious name. So I wracked my brain to find a name that was posibly cooler than I am. I tried Quiver. Quiver is a good name it has more than one meaning. It can be something you do when scared or it can be the thing that holds an archers arrows. But it just didn't stick. And I just wasn't cool enough for it as most people like me are.

Next was, well you probably don't care about what was next do youse*. So I'll just get to the inspiration for Corbiscide and what better way to do this than show you the inspiration himself.

* youse - Australian slang. Plural for You. When there is more than one you its youse

Yes the actor Corbin Bernson from LA Law, and the Major Leauge series. I got thinking that he wasn't the best actor in the world and if you wanted to kill off Corbin you'd use, yes thats right corbiscide.

Now I've put it up on the internet I'm probably going to get hate mail from all you Corbinites out there. Possibly even a cese and desist order on the name as well.

Oh well it would be intresting.

Corbiscide out.

The epic tale begins here

2005-11-23T10:58:00.000+11:00

So begins the EPIC tale of one mans struggle to become a minute voice on the internet.

Hey I've done it whoohoo!

So I don't have to do anything else do I.

Ok so I do. I'm just slack thats all. Tenacious and slack my best and worst attributes. Wow!

Gee this is really sounding like one absolutely crap blog. I really don't think anyone is going to come back and read this. Then again people watch Bold and the Beautiful and that's got crap writing. But as I remember its got beautiful and bold people in really bad studios sets that wobbble sometimes.

Me all I've got is a wing a prayer and my own degree in verbal diarrhea.

So if spelling mistakes and poor grammer with possible Australian slang is what your after. I've got more than you'll be able to take.

Corbiscide out.