The Ride of the Spaghetti Yeti Pt 1

The four children arrive at the Farm.
"Here we are guys at the Farm its gonna be so cool." says boy2
"Farms aren't any fun everywhere you step theres poo." whines girl1
"Yeah! Ain't that cool." boy2.

Number 2's Number2's
Farms are full of number 2's
You don't know whose is whose
Cause Farms are full of number 2's

Oh Number number number 2
There's no shame no none for you
cause we've all done it you know its true
We've all been doing number 2's


"Aw thats gross."says the girls
"Bonjour!" welcomes French farmer. "Welcome to Euro Farms."
"Euro Farms?" questions girl1
"I've heard of Sheep Farms and Cow Farms, but whats a Euro?" asks boy 2
"About a dollar ninety Australian." says boy1

"Oh you mean the countries in Europe like France.?"
"Oui!" confirms French farmer.
"Hang on he said wee."
"Non I said Oui which means yes in French." "But enough of this. We have animals from all over Europe. Ducks from France."
"Le quack, Le quack." - Ducks.
"Awww! They're saying Quack in French." gushes Boy2
"Bulls from Spain." says French farmer.
"Ole Moo! Ole!" - Bull
"Sheep from Germany." introduces French farmer.
"BeeeeeeeeMW, Mercedes Beeeeeeeeenz, Autobaaaaaaaahhhhn." bleet the sheep.

"French farmer, French farmer!" shouts an Italian accent.
"Oui. What is ze problem Italian farmer?" asks the French farmer.
"The Spaghetti Yeti, he is a-coming."screams Italian farmer. "Run, run for you lives."

"Raaaaaaaaaar!" wails the Yeti. It comes through trashing the place. Everyone screams. It finishes very quickly. Suddenly its all quiet.
"Children its all ok the Spaghetti Yeti has gone. You can all come out now." calls French farmer.

"I'm here." Boy 1
"Me too." Girl 1
"Me Three." Boy 3
They look around waiting for Girl2 to reply but there's nothing.

"Where the other girl?" asks French farmer.

"The Spaghetti Yeti took the little girl!" screams Italian farmer.

Long Time Coming. Hard Road Ahead

Yesterday I spent the afternoon crying. Not because I was sad but because I was happy.

Let me explain:
I wasn't happy because the guy I wanted to win won. I couldn't vote I'm in Australia. Even though I wanted Barak to win, like a lot of American's I just couldn't believe it could happen. But it did and there were a lot of other people, people who hoped it could happen, people who wanted it to happen. Yet these people were wary and guarded themselves ready for just another disappointment. They had seen time and time again their dreams and hopes ruined by setbacks and compromise. They had seen hatred and fear win over justice and hope.
Now finally it has happened.
The words in my mind were "Free at last, free at last." Now thats probably stepping way too far ahead because we don't know what comes next. Even if "Free at last" isn't where the African American is (because lets face it their lot in America is still a heavy one) but they now can dream because the dream has been proven to be true. The first part of Dr. Martin Luther-King's famous speach has happened. A man has been judged by the whole country not by his skin colour but by his ideals and ideas. The dream has been given clothed in reality.

Now all these thoughts flodded through my head very quickly. Then came a small snippet of video from New York. CNN's coverage had a camera in Harlem, where I don't know. BUt loud and clear I could hear them repeat over and over again. "Yes we can. Yes we can." Just thinking about it makes me tear up. For them it wasn't a slogan for them it was truth. They knew what had happened, they new what this meant. The total Joy at the culmination of a hope, a dream that they had believed was now clothed in flesh in front of them. One of their own was climbing into the last bastion of white supremacy. Never before had this happened. That a coloured man could run for President was a shock to many. That he could win. Even I thought it was impossible.

So as I sat there in my little house here in Australia watching these people rejoice at something they hope for but could never see happening in their lifetime. I cried happy tears.

Thank God I was able to see it.

Overdue - Chapter 15 - The End

I got out of the car. I was serene and clear there wasn't a thought in my head. I walked up to the door and rang the bell. I waited, damn I wanted the door not to open. I prayed that the door wouldn't open. I hadn't prayed for years. And then the door opened, it was Rat.
At first I didn't recognise her, she'd washed out her black and purple dye and gone back to her original strawberry blonde.
"Craig! What are you doing here?" she asked surprised.
I was about to tell her to run or something when I heard Ms. Lola behind me. Well, I heard her gun. The sound of a gun being cocked is very disctinct.
"Who's that. Ms Lola? Why does she have a gun pointed at us?" she looked at me firstly confused and then afraid.
"They want the book. You should go get it. And come back...please." I swallowed noisely. She didn't look like she was going to go and do it. Then she just quickly turned away into the house.
I've felt awkward on many occasions but nothing has ever been more awkward than waiting for Rat to come back to the door with the book. Well she did come back and with the book but it wasn't because she wanted too. Oswald was behind her. Oswald looked even bigger otuside the car, he completley dwarfed Rat. Oswald gestured towards the car and in his hand was the book, still with its painted cover Rat gave it.
Oswald and I sat in the back of the Volvo, with Ms Lola and Rat up front. The ride back to town was uneventfull, there was no conversation. Not even a quip from Ms. Lola. But then again I was numb. All I could do was stare at Rat. It had been years since I'd seen her without her hair dyed some colour or shade. She did return my stare every now and again, but that was it.
Then we got to our destination, Ms.Lola's block of flats. It was dusk and the sun was setting quickly. Ms.Lola and Oswald ushered Rat and I side by side into the main room and there sitting on the lounge was Mindy. At first I was relieved but then I wondered where Lachlan was.
"You know I really wanted it not to be you." said Rat.
"Pardon? Ummm wha.. what do you mean Rat?" I stammered.
"Ahh! Craig you never guessed it did you." chuckled Mindy. "If not for you Craig and this book, none of this would have happened.
"She got sloppy Craig. The book in that cover isn't a library book its one of Mindy's. Its got 'Property of Mindy Prior' on the first page." Rat didn't stop staring daggers at Mindy.
"So now both of you know, and soon both of you are going to die." Mindy forced a relieved smile on her face. She wasn't the criminal mastermind she thought she was.
"Is HE here then." enquired Ms.Lola as she broke the awkward silence.
"Not yet but HE said he would come. We have no need to do the job ourselves this time." replied Mindy.
"Who's HE?" spat Rat. "I'd like to know who's going to kill us."
I wasn't so surprised when at that moment HE made his entrance through the kitchen door.
"Thank you for comming Kil." Mindy glowed with apprecation. "It will be so much cleaner. This time!" She looked directly at Ms.Lola and Oswald. Oswald looked at his toes. Ms.Lola didn't seem to care.
I looked at Kil and he looked back at me. He smiled.
"Craig, Faith. This is going to hurt me more than you. I hate killing people I went to school with."
With that he raised his gun and then all hell broke loose.

BOOM!

Something bigger than a gun went off. The police call them flash bangs. It blinds those in a confined area and the noise is deafening. It took days for the ringing in my ears to stop.
Oswald stopped holding me and I found myself being pulled by Rat onto the floor and under the lounge. And under the lounge we stayed until we heard a voice.
"Craig... Rat... You can come out now." it was Coughlan.

I found out later Mindy changed the dust cover regularly from the orginal book to the books she used as the mule book. The exchange was simple. Someone would pick the drugs up from the book after paying Ms.Lola or Oswald. I screwed it all up when I went to delete the book from the catalouge. At first Mindy was hoping to get to the book after it was deleted. Then she was hoping to get it back from me but then Rat interviened. Which set into motion everything else. The mule books were not treated well by the users and replacements the right size and shape were hard to find so they started using any book. They got sloppy cause as Rat found out, written on the first page was 'Property of Mindy Prior'.

Lachlan took Mindy's deception real hard. He was offered postions in other towns but he's decided to stick it out here. He really is a nice guy I feel bad for him.

As for Kil. The whole 'endgame' as he called it was his idea, he even called the cops in. As for how he got away? I have my suspicions that the cops let him go cause he's an undecover cop, or something like that. Rat tells me that I'm just being silly thinking that way. But it was Kil who phoned Rat and told her to go and hide at the beach house. Personally I find it hard to beieve that he did this for us out of the kindness of his heart.

Brad/Mephisto is just Brad now and he and Kate are still together. Brad started working at his Dad's tyre franchise. Its a change that has surprised Brad more than anyone else.

Ok I can hear you saying. But what about you and Rat.

Well apart from her telling me I'm silly. When noone is around. She lets me call her Faith.

Chapter 14 - Overdue

The 11O'clock rush that day was bad but it was nothing compared to what followed. Karl left first. I told him I'd lock up so he could get to see his son-in-law's Football match. I wanted to wait around for Lachlan to tell me that Rat was safe. I waited half an hour but noone came. So I went to lock up and as I went to leave I saw that the TV was on in the Audio Visual room. Now that often happens people treat the Library eqipment like trash, and sometimes kids try to watch all sorts of stuff their parents wouldn't allow. I quickly opened the door expecting to catch some kids watching porn.
"Ok this ends n...." I was stopped in my tracks by. "Kil!"
"Hi Craig. Now if you do as I say now you'll live and maybe long enough to see Rat again." His tone was cool and calm. His eye's gave a different tone completly, they were cold and mean.

Twenty minutes later I was out of the library walking home. I was sure this plan of Kil's was going to get me hurt one and maybe even dead. Sure enough things went perfectly to plan, by the time I was half way home the phone rang.
"Who's been a bad little boy." It was Ms.Lola. "Craig if you could stop right where you are and hop in the car with me."
"Which car?" I asked. Of course right on time the car pulled up to the curb.
Ms.Lola smiled at me. "Do I have to tell you to get in the car without making a scene? Or do I have to ask Oswald to step out and help you?"
Oswald looked huge in the car and the car was a volvo station wagon. He filled one whole side of the back bench seat. Needless to say I got in the car.
"So that was a poor attempt to send the police a message. Didn't you think we'd be watching you?" The question was entirely rhetorical. She wasn't looking for a response. Yes they'd been watching me but which attempt did they see. My useless flop with Coughlan or my last minute hail mary with Mindy and Lachlan. I didn't want to ask. According to Kil they'd seen me try and get a message out he didn't say which, he didn't even say if he'd seen both. So of course my mind started racing as the car drove out of town. If they saw the attempt to give the message to Coughlan then I was on my way to get killed and my body dumped in a shallow grave somewhere. Now if they saw the pass off to Mindy then either Mindy or Lachlan or both are dead and we are on our way too. It was as that thought was going through my mind when Ms.Lola asked me a question.
"Do you like the beach Craig?" She turned her head from the drivers seat and looked at me with that matronly face of hers. She didn't have to say it but she did anyway. "You've been keeping secrets from us. Naughty boy."
Of course I really went into guilt overdrive after that.
You idiot. You've not only killed Mindy, Lachalan and Rat but you've done it in the most rediculous and stupid manner. Well there was more guilty thoughts than that but they pretty much sum up what I thought till we stopped.

We were in the little beach town, outside Rat's uncles Beach house. Ms. Lola turned around and smiled at me again. "So this is where we find out if your right Craig. Time to play Judas."

Overdue - Chapter 13

The next day was Saturday and I had to be at work until noon. The evening before I'd told Kate and Brad not to try and tell the cops where we thought Rat was. If Ms. Lola was watching me then she'd surely have someone watching them. There had to be another way of telling the Cops that we had a lead on where Rat and the book might be.
As I was helping a lady find a book on what she described as "whores at sea" (the book was Sian Reis) I saw Detective Coughlan enter the Library. Great! I thought now was the time, all I had to do was pass a note that Rat was at the beach house and it would all be over. I rushed to the front desk and hastily scribbled down the message.Then I grabbed the most recent book that had been returned, put the note inside it and strode over to where Coughlan was talking to Karl.
"Ah Craig just the man you've been looking for Detective." said Karl. "Don't be too long the 11O'clock rush will be starting any time soon." Karl went and relieved me at the front desk.
"Look there's two reasons why I'm here." Began Coughlan. "One is to appologise for my behaviour at the station two nights ago. I thought we'd make a signifigant breakthrough and then you tell me its not Rat. Which is a great relief to you and all I do is start yelling." She wasn't the type to apologise and it showed.
"Look I understand you were under a lot of presure." I replied. "I was just relived that it wasn't Rat. No harm done."
"And two," continued Coughlan. "You were right about the Jane Doe's name being Storm." She then showed me a picture of Ms.Lola. "Have you seen this woman before."
"No." I lied. I didn't want to go into the station again. I wanted to tell her all about it but the risk was way too great. If I went with her there and then Kate or Brad could get killed. I was afraid I'd get killed too. But I still had time to give her the book with the message in it.
"Look sorry about all of that I think you should take this book it has a great MESSAGE in it." I made sure I emphasised the word Message and handed her the book. She looked at me at first then at the book then at me again.
"Craig you've got to get out more, cause if this is what I think it is your a little too desperate." Then she handed the book back to me and as she walked off I thought I could hear her trying to hold in a laugh. I quickly looked at the books cover. "The Art of Sexual Ecstasy". Oh great! I thought to myself. Now she thinks I'm trying to get all hot and heavy with her. What kind of boyfriend must I look like if I'm trying to shag the Dective whose investigating the dissapearance of my girlfreind.
And I think it was there and then that I realised that I did want to be Rats Boyfriend. Another reason to survive all of this and another reason to find Rat. But I was being watched and I'd just blown a chance to tell Coughlan that Rat might be at the beach house. Then Mindy came in she said she'd left something behind and had come back to pick it up. Chance number two cause I could see that outside the Library was Lachlan. As Mindy was leaving the office I intercepted her.
"Min' can you give this note to Lachlan." I asked. She looked at me funny and smiled.
"Sure, this about Rat missing?" she asked back.
"Yeah its really important that Lachlan gets it." I replied and handed Mindy the note she took it and left. All I had to do was wait and Rat would be back and all of this would be over.

Overdue - Chapter 12

"Ms.Lola!" questioned Kate. "The lady in the pink who lived in the flat across from the dead drugie."

"The same one. Delivering the pizzas and an ultimatum." I answered.

Kate and Brad were sitting in the lounge room eating the pizzas, while I told them about Ms. Lola's delivery.

"So if you don't find Rat for them they'll kill you and then start on us, probably." Brad summed up the situation very well. He even included him and Kate in it.

"But we don't know where Rat is. We've checked everywhere she could be." Kate was stumped we had thought of every place she could be.

"Yeah the cops have tried Mum place and Dad's place. I mean as If she'd go to Dad's she hates Kayla." added Brad.

Rat and Brad's parents split up back when we were in High School. Mr DeSouza re-married Kayla a fitness instructor. As trophy wives go she's not that bitchy at all, but Rat loathes her with a passion.

"No she'd never go there." I said.

"No she'd never go there." I repeated to myself.

"Its late your repeating yourself. Maybe we should just sleep on it." advised Kate playing big sister.

"Well she'd go there to see Dad but its not like she'd never go." offered Brad. "There is the beach house though. Now that she hates."

"Did we tell the police about it?" I asked. "Cause if we did they would have checked there."

"No." replied Kate.

"I didn't mention it. Like I said she'd never have gone there, its not even ours. Its owned by uncle Malcom, Mum's brother." after Brad finished we looked at each other.

"So what are we going to do now?" asked Kate silently.

I had a plan. It involved acting like we didn't know where Rat was. Then finding some way to contact the Police tomorrow and getting them to go and resucue Rat. We couldn't do it. Brad and Kate agreed and after a night of restless sleep I went to work the next day.

It was uneventfull till in walked Ms. Lola. I was on the front desk with Mindy.

"Honeydear." she said to Mindy. "Can you help me I need find a book on the psychology of lying?" As she said lying she turned her eyes to me.

Now Mindy and I had been working together for a long time and we had an arrangment. If one of us didn't want to deal with a customer you scratch your nose and the other takes over. Mindy was about to go to lunch with Lachlan so she naturally scratched her nose and turned to me. I scratched my nose too. Mindy glared at me. She'd told me she had arranged to lunch with Lachlan and dealing with such an abstract search like Ms.Lola's would take a while. So she scratched her nose again at me. I scratched right back.

"Excuse me children but is this some kind of sign language? Or is it hayfever season again?" asked Ms.Lola.

I was about to turn and run when.

"Mindy you coming to lunch." Lachlan was at the front door.

"I'm sure Craig here can give you all the assistance you require. I have to go to lunch."Mindy smiled and raced over to Lachlan. The two embraced and left.

"Ain't they a beautiful couple." Ms. Lola actually sounded genuine and then she turned nasty. "I need to give you this." She passed me a Mobile phone. "The number stored on it is mine. Call me when you find out where Rat is." With that she turned and walked out. I put the phone in my pocket and forgot about it, after work I decided I'd make a b-line for the cops. The phone rang.

"Craig honey." It was Ms.Lola. "You better not be going to the police. Oh and yes we are watching you." She hung up and I walked home.

 

Overdue - Chapter 11

I got to the station and Kate and Mephisto were there. They were siting down and Kate was holding Mephisto. He was shaking and I could hear him sobbing. Kate looked up, her mascara was running. I was numb. I'd never seen them this way before.

Coughlan led me to the viewing room. It was a room next to the mortuary with a window which was covered by a curtian.
"You ready." Coughlan was rather grim. "Mephisto didn't do very well, not many people do. Just breathe clamly and tell me who you see."
And with that the curtains were whisked away. The body was naked except for the face which was covered. I turned to Coughlan.
"You don't want to know. But you've probably guessed. This is when Mephisto lost it." It was a challenge. Be a man its just a dead body. So I took up the challenge, I looked at the body.
"Are those nipples pierced?" I asked.
"Yes. Quite plain really, I've seen better." Coughlan smiled. If this was cop humor it was damn dark.
"Its not Rat." I said it plainly. Coughlan's smile dissapeared.
"You sure." she didn't believe me.
"Of course I'm sure. Over 48 hours ago I was in very close contact with Rat and I can tell you her breasts were not pierced." I was relieved.
"So who is this?" Coughlan was upset she now had a dead body who looked a lot like Rat with her face missing. She was back to square one.
"I don't know." I replied as if it was my fault. It wasn't but maybe I had a way ahead. "I think her name's Storm."

Coughlan was not that happy with trying to find a punk/goth artist named Storm. Personally I thought she was being a bit bitchy. She stormed off out of the veiwing room.
"Someone get me Proust." she screamed. "We gotta find some skank named Storm"

I went out to where Kate and Mephisto were. They'd heard Coughlan screaming. I smiled to them.
"Its not Rat?" asked Kate hopefully.
"Not unless she went and got her nipples pierced recently." I answered.
"Thats great Craig." said Kate and she lifted Mephisto's face up and smiled at him. "You fool its not Rat."
"Its not." Mephisto turned to me. He smiled for a bit and then turned away from me."I couldn't do it."

"Hey its ok Meph'." I reached out to console him but he brushed my hand away.

"I didn't want to see her dead. Some dark lord of death I turned out to be. I'm just Brad DeSouza." And with that he stood up. "I wanna go home."

So we did. We were hungry tired and spent. So we orderd pizza. The pizza was taking a while so Kate and ex-Mephisto Brad decided to have a shower. Of course not long after they got in the shower there was a knock at the door. I opened the door and was greeted by pizza. Happy that the food had turned up I took the boxes and handed over the money.
"Thanks but don't expect no change." I knew that voice. "You know God and I don't agree on much church boy. But we do agree on one thing." Ms. Lola was standing there in front of me at my front door. "I do believe the good book says 'Thou shalt not lie.' And I hate liars. Which means I hate you."